Tree of Life is one of those rare films that held my interest all the way through. I will probably watch it again. It was visually beautiful, nostalgic, poignant, thought-provoking. I wanted to jot down my initial impressions here on my long-neglected blog. This is still a rough draft, but I need to publish it for lack of time to finish.
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth....when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy." (Job 38:4,7)
God's ways are mysterious. Who are we to judge God? It is He who brings trials and tests into our lives and judges us.
God as fire.
Our God is (literally?) a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29; Deut. 4:24). We can only know Him as He reveals Himself in Scripture and in nature.
"The nuns taught us, there is the way of Nature and the way of Grace. Choose which one you'll follow.
Grace doesn't try to please itself......forgotten, disliked.....accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself, lord it over....find reasons to be unhappy."
Some basic truths from Scripture are taught in Catholicism. Not everything we learned was false. Choosing right from wrong was a strong theme growing up Catholic. (Much Catholic imagery/sounds in this film as the family attended Catholic church.) However, I never learned in Catholicism how to overcome natural tendencies and the self life. I never heard about being "born again" and experiencing new life as a new creation with godly tendencies and the ability to choose good over evil.
The mom in this movie seemed to be born again, demonstrating the "grace" life. She was filled with the fruit of the Spirit......gentleness, goodness, wisdom, patience, etc. The dad, on the other hand, illustrated the "lord it over" natural man, ambitious, egocentric, cold, tough, determined, critical.
The son was influenced by both parents, caught in the middle, confused, indecisive about which way to go in life. Turns out his "good" brother and mother won out in the tug of war for his soul, eventually leading him to walk through "the Door" (YESHUA = The Door) later in life after his struggle and soul search. At least in a dream sequence. Not sure how to understand it.
Reviewing his life - in vignettes. I wonder if this theme was influenced by the movie writer's own born again experience, an experience similar to mine, seeing my whole life flash before me and dealing with it in tears of insight, outsight, regret, repentance.
Scene concerning death of 19 year old brother:
When tragedy strikes, news of the death of a loved one, human comfort means well but is inadequate. Platitudes that hurt rather than comfort. "You have two other children..."
Tragedy begets regrets. Dad: "I made him feel ashamed."
Firstborn son/Protagonist knew something of experiencing God. "How did You come to me? In what shape? What disguise? (Scenes of birds, sunsets) How did I lose you? Wandered. Forgot You....Find me."
Recognized his lost condition. Wondered how his mother bore the tragedy of losing her son(s) without getting bitter and losing her faith. Rather than blame God, Mom soul-searched: "Was I false to You?" and asked the classic question, "Why?????"
"Did You know? Who are we to You? Answer me."
Consideration given to "Natural" origin of Universe. My thoughts during the visual spectacle: Mystery. Particles coming together could have happened in split second in God's time/mind. Intelligent Design. In the beginning God created.... We can only conjecture how, when.
After "Big Bang", development of sea life, eohippus, dinosaurs.....seemed a rather ridiculous theory to me, depicting man's attempt to understand the unknowable past.
"We cry to you, my soul, my son. Hear us."
How can one pray to "nature" (Evolution makes no sense).
Her love for her son wrapped up in her very soul.
New day dawns......amoeba
"Life, my life. I search for you. My hope....my child."
???
Son reflects: "You spoke to me through her (mother)". "From the sky, the trees...before I knew I loved You, believed in You. When did you first touch my heart?" He realizes his heart had been touched by God in various ways in his life from his earliest remembrances. Scenes depicting his thoughts and remembrances (life flashing before him in non-linear vignettes)
Before I was born?
As a small child?
Through my little Bible?
Child's Bible?
Autumn leaves?
Christening?
Toddler?
With Dad?
Tree breezes?
Baby brother?
Fireflies?
Mom points to the sky: "That's where God lives." Hatikvah plays. (The Hope/Israel's National Anthem). Why that song? (Not listed in credits at end of film. Hatikvah must be based on a classical piece unknown to me?)
Does the son think of his mom as almost a goddess? "Mother, make me good, brave." Do sons think of their moms as godlike? Almost worship us? We are a type of God to our young sons?
Parents together demonstrate aspects of God.
Mom - nurturing, comforting, wise
Dad - Can be harsh, tough, wrathful, judgmental
(Was glad the film did not depict the Dad as one dimensional. There were moments when the son realized his dad truly loved him and the dad was able to express tenderness.)
Parents are an imperfect reflection of God, themselves influenced by their own upbringing and societal influences.
Son: "Where do You live? Are You watching me? I want to know what You are. I want to see what You see."
Imperfect Church, lame sermons. Lighting candles for the dead (brought back memories of me doing that for my grandfather in Catholic Church).
Little brother drowns in pool
"Was he bad? Where were You? You let a boy die. You let anything happen." (DDT spraying scene with kids playing in it).
"Why should I be good if You aren't?"
(Meanwhile, Mom walks in grace and peace. "Love everyone. Forgive.")
Son: "What I want to do I can't do. I do what I hate." (lots of Scriptural references throughout).
"Father. Mother. Always you wrestle inside me. Always. You always will. I'm as bad as you are. More like you than her."
"The only way to be happy is to love....Do good to them. Wonder. Hope."
Dream sequence?
Son walked through Door. "Keep us, Guide us. To the end of time."
Follow Me
"I give him to You"
My thoughts:
So much we don't understand. Can only speculate. Choose good, choose surrender. Walk through the Door (YESHUA) Choose to love, forgive.
Peter's struggles depicted in protagonists's thoughts.
I never had these particular struggles about theodicy. Always knew "God is good." I never blamed God. I blamed myself for my misery because I turned away from good/God.
Identified with depictions of 50's childhood.....the wood swing was just like one my dad made me.....the neighborhood, fences, yards, neighborhood playmates, curtains blowing in the breeze, fireflies at night.
Identified with the house fire scene. Had a classmate with dead little brother from fire. He went back for his slippers and was trapped. Affected me at the time. But I did not blame God or think Him evil to allow this to happen. Just felt bad for my classmate and did not know what to say to her, so said nothing.
Did not identify with harsh, disciplinarian dad. My dad was not like him. My dad was gentle, kind, and encouraging. I did not blame God for evil, for house fires, for deaths, for disappointments.
Ocean/sand scene: Not so great depiction of Eternity? of seeing our loved ones again? Why such desolate landscapes? Purgatory?
Least understood part of the film was ocean scene and following. Scene shifts back to the son and the city skyscrapers. I thought, "It's not going to end like this, is it?" It did.
