8/11/2013

Running Away From Old Age (Part One)

They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. -- Isaiah 40:31

My blog. My poor, neglected blog. It has been many months, almost a year, since I have sat down to write my thoughts and log my life journey. So much has changed, so many updates to make note of, so much catching up to do. Where do I begin? There is something going on in my life right now that I need to sort out. My thoughts are swirling in my head. It seems as if I am living in a dream or a storybook. My life is blessed abundantly, and I need to give thanks.

Speaking of storybooks, I remember a vacation spot from my childhood in the White Mountains of New Hampshire called Story Land. In October, I have the opportunity to hike in its environs, to stand on a mountaintop, taking in magnificent views in the peak of fall foliage season, with my daughter......and with Tom and Atticus, celebrities. This is mind boggling to say the least. Denise and I were planning a fall foliage trip to New Hampshire, a trek I wasn't sure I could manage due to my timidity, what ifs, and fears, not to mention health concerns with chronic fatigue, etc. Of course, I wanted to go very badly, but I don't drive by myself long distance, I don't take airplanes, I don't do anything beyond a 60 mile radius these days. My comfort zone is Culver, and I have been quite content to enjoy everything there is to enjoy at my nearby paradise.

And enjoy is what I've been doing. So busy enjoying life that I have not had time to write. I've been running with Dana Neer's Run Class. I've been paddleboarding with my son on lovely Lake Maxinkuckee, I've been learning to swim again, thanks to Sandi, my triathlon coach. I've been rowing with Guy Weaser's Row Class (and hoping to one day row in a crew boat (skull). Life is good, and I am happy. I am still enjoying my job taking care of my girls in Linden/Ithaca/Deck 6 dorm.

Peter is back in my life after a months long hiatus last fall. That is a story in itself. Another incredible turn of events and perspective. I still don't know quite what to make of the whole relationship/friendship, and it is not like it used to be, but it is on a pretty good track for now. We are both too busy to communicate as much as we used to, but it is a comfort to have someone to share things with on occasion. He will always be a "significant other" in my life. Platonic friendships are a good thing. Having a friend is a great blessing in life.

I have "real life" friends now. Maybe not close friends, but friends that I enjoy being around. Most of them are associated with Culver. I feel as if Culver is my community, and I am an integral part of this wonderful community. I still feel blessed to be there and treasure my job, even when it is hard and exhausting sometimes. Most days it just feels like I'm going to my second home and "playing house" all day. I don't mind the housekeeping chores; having 90 or so "daughters" is a little much sometimes, but I enjoy watching them go off to class and sports activities and equestrian events.....such as practicing for the Presidential Inaugural Parade. I accompanied them through town in the pouring rain last winter, totally enjoying myself and remembering how I felt when people watched me ride when I was their age. The kids are such an inspiration to me. I live on inspiration. And I find plenty of inspiration associated with Culver Academies. I feel like a kid again myself. I watch them play, and I want to play. If they can row in crew, why can't I? If they can run, why can't I? Just because I'm 64, do I have to be old? No! I'm running away from old age! I hope to stay active and get more fit and enjoy my "sunset years" as they are sometimes called. I recently found a blurb online about Cora Snow, my riding instructor from Blue Hill Riding Academy days. She was still riding on trail rides in her 90's!

"How did I get so old?" I remember Uncle Leo used that expression. In his mind, he was still young. Bodies age, but we are still who we are. I tend to think of myself as perpetually 14. Fourteen forever! That was probably my favorite year. I enjoyed Junior High, I enjoyed Tandi, my favorite horse and special friend. Life was good. This year is the 50th anniversary of my best year. Jubilee!

Speaking of Uncle Leo, I look forward to returning to Mashpee, MA for a nostalgic visit in October, on a side excursion on my way to New Hampshire. My sister Joanne called me recently....another blessing, as I hardly ever hear from her. She and her husband just bought a house on the other side of John's Pond, where as children we used to wander around looking for frogs. I vaguely remember that...only I don't think I was catching frogs. I was daydreaming about riding a pony there....and there was one kid who had one. I was so jealous. But my make believe ponies and horses were very real to me, and I was usually riding them when other kids were looking for frogs, etc.

This jumbled memoir is a start in returning to writing, and it is due to the influence of Tom Ryan and his memoir, Following Atticus, that I resume this passion. I thoroughly enjoyed reading his book, reminiscent a bit of Thoreau. It is inspirational, in ways I need to try to express in my next installment, along with an update concerning my reconsidered spiritual life. I can't believe I'm going to meet a famous writer and "a little dog of some distinction" and hike with them in the mountains during peak foliage season (along with 20 others chosen for the Gratitude Hike). I can't believe I'm actually going on a road trip by myself to get there. But this is where the LORD is leading me in His Divine Providence. I am grateful to my daughter, Denise, whose Grace-filled courageous and positive attitude towards the personal challenges in her life is rubbing off on me (an attitude that has made quite an impression on Tom as well). I am looking forward to our adventurous mother/daughter time together in October.

Onward, by all means!