I'm still struggling with "overcoming aversion", thus the long delay in blogging my life and thoughts. Here it is the last day of 2014, and I never finished the draft blog post I started on the Jewish New Year! So many "new beginnings" with these various calendars. I believe the beginning of the year, Biblically and naturally, is in the Spring, the first of Aviv. But I acknowledge the Academic new year in August, the Jewish new year at Yom Teruah, and the Secular new year on January 1. Today is my last opportunity in 2014 to update this blog and I'm determined to do it. I will include the unfinished draft post from months ago, make some remarks concerning those remarks and then fill in my activities for October thru December. I'm back at my old 2005 Mac Mini desktop computer where I am most comfortable typing on the Kensington keyboard. All my old Apple computers just keep on working, though outdated. I have an iPad Mini now, but it annoys me. The entire Internet world annoys me these days, but that's a topic for another day......
Written 9/25/14:
Today is Rosh haShanah/Yom Teruah 2014/5775 and I am happy and doing well. Something has changed since my last post. Once again the LORD has rescued me from the brambles and thicket and set me back on the Path of Life, leading the way. I am ecstatic and energized. I'm sure it has something to do with the email I received from "Shoshana" who somehow stumbled upon my blog and sent me a word of encouragement, inviting me to try Sar Shalom synagogue online. I checked it out and was favorably impressed. I realized I had encountered this website in the past and liked it. At the time, the congregation was talking about moving to a town called Argyle. When my daughter used the word "argyle" in a conversation, I took it as a sign from the LORD. And, oddly enough, of all the myriad online messianic websites, this one was very close to where my daughter lives in Flower Mound, Texas. It would be possible that I could visit her and attend this synagogue someday. For some reason I did not pursue this path in the past (was it this past Spring?) and so the LORD sent another witness to invite me. I discovered that this woman lived in Celina, TX and operated a bed and breakfast. Here was another possibility. I could meet her and stay there sometime on a trip to Texas to visit my daughter and granddaughter. As I pondered these possibilities and sought the LORD about it, behold, a truck was parked at the Culver loading dock with "Celina" emblazoned on its side! Another coincidence? Or is this how the LORD directs my path.
I was very cautious about getting excited about another Messianic congregation. So many disappointments over the years. So many groups that I just did not fit in with for one reason or another. I had just about given up hope of ever finding anything compatible. But I did not like my current situation of being in limbo and having no fellowship or congregation to attach myself to at some level. I was "withering on the vine" for lack of fellowship and intellectual/spiritual stimulation.
I watched some archived services and a couple of live ones in the past few weeks and could not find anything wrong with them. These people seemed to be likeminded in many ways. I liked the Rabbi and the musicians and the congregation. I discovered that the rabbi was no novice, having been Messianic longer than me, about 20 years. Why had I never heard of him? This is an observant Jewish congregation fully centered on Yeshua. I could learn a lot here. I was familiar with some of the Hebrew prayers due to my participation at the "Synagogue by the Sea" at Culver.
Switching gears, the second reason for my renewed joy and enthusiasm relates to running. I ran my first Trail Race on September 20. It was called "Mash the Creek" and it was held at Potato Creek State Park on the hiking trails. I absolutely loved it. I have found my niche. I like dirt and roots and rocks under my feet rather than pavement. A couple of my coworkers from Culver ran it with me, and the camaraderie was wonderful. They loved it too. I hope to run other races with them and their friends. I did better than expected. My hope was to not come in last. Not only did I meet that goal, but I was 42nd out of 69 and won my age division, receiving a beautiful gold medal! (There was only one other woman in my category who came in 20 seconds after me; it pays to be old...not very many women my age are still running.) I am hooked. I want to do this again. There is a trail race at France Park on October 11 but the trail is narrow and possibly treacherous in places. So I'm going there today to check it out first while communing with the LORD on this beautiful festival day. I'll catch the Sar Shalom service later today in the archives and hear the sound of the Shofar. I listened last night to the Erev service. I plan to do the tashlich ceremony with pebbles representing sins cast into the depth of the sea (quarry). Today's Bible reading included Micah 7:18-19 which I took as confirmation.
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END OF DRAFT
UPDATE: 12/31/14......
Concerning Sar Shalom, I am not quite as enthused as I was initially and some red flags have been raised in my mind. I need to write to the Rabbi and express my concerns and give him some feedback. It is difficult for me to watch the services on Livestream, as it does not stream well on my old laptop or on the iPad. I need to get a new MacBook. I was hoping the iPad would be enough, but it has limitations. It's great to bring to work though for email and light use. It's also great for listening to itunes radio and podcasts. I"m still somewhat adrift spiritually, disillusioned with the Messianic world and its cast of characters. My heros have turned to villains, and I don't know where to go from here.
I found a great little book for learning Hebrew called "Teach Yourself to Read Hebrew" (Simon and Anderson) and have been enjoying reviewing what I learned in the past the hard way with this easy to absorb beginner book. Wish I had known about this resource when I struggled through other books. It is hard for me to process information these days. I can only handle a few minutes of reading and studying at a time.
Running truly has become a lifeline for me. This is one thing I can do. All I need is shoes on my feet and appropriate clothing for the weather. It is something I can do most any day of the year. I may just run a mile, or if it is nice weather and I have time, I can run/hike 3 or 4 miles or more. I did the France Park DINO series 5K trail race and absolutely loved it. I drove there by myself and didn't know anyone, but everyone was friendly and encouraging. I got to stand on a pedestal at the award ceremony with my 1st place medal for my gender/age division. It helps when there is no competition since few women my age run these races. My time was 39:35.2 (58th out of 69 participants). There were lots of roots and rocks to watch out for on the narrow trails and I walked when I needed to walk. I'm doing this for my health and enjoyment, not for competition. As long as there are walkers in these races, I need not fear I'll be dead last. Actually there were quite a few runners that came in after me, several much younger than me. I prefer trail races to road races. I like dirt under my feet, the challenge of varied terrain, and I love the scenery.
I ran another race November 1 at TalTree Arboretum in Valparaiso. This was a 10K trail race. That was fun too, although there was lots of mud and it was quite cold that day. I got another beautiful medal for my gender/age division (no competition) and Pat was there to cheer me on. My time was 1:18:44.8 (12:42/M), 74th overall out of 86 participants. My next race is January 10 at the same place, this time a 5K. I wonder what kind of weather we'll have. I'm ready to run in my boots and ski jacket if need be. Running trail races is pure joy for me. Running keeps me healthy. I am literally running away from old age, disability, and disease.
[My stats for the Mash the Creek 5.5K Trail Race: 40:33/11:52]
Another joy for me recently was finding the perfect saddle for riding Misty. It's an extra wide Big Horn western saddle, nice supple leather, comfortable, and it fits my horse. What a huge difference this makes in riding enjoyment! I found it online at The Saddle Shop, Bremen, for $575 (used but well cared for) and went there to pick it up in November. I finally got a chance to ride Misty the other day and what a delight to discover I can mount from the ground without the saddle slipping. I feel like I'm riding my horse not an ill fitting uncomfortable saddle. This is much safer for me than riding bareback, which is what I resorted to most of the time in the past. I hope to do much more riding and enjoying horses in 2015.
I have been home on winter break since December 24, a much needed break. I managed to do some de-cluttering in several rooms thankfully. I go back to work Friday. I still love my job but sometimes it overtires me by the end of the day. It is hard work. There is an opening in Administrative Services I could apply for and maybe get, but I don't want to sit at a desk all day either. I wish I could do both...half a day in my dorm, and half in an office. Ideally I wish I could work part time or at least fewer hours.
Austin spent his Fall break here, and we went for an enjoyable bike ride at Potato Creek State Park. Denise and Lexi came at Thanksgiving break. It was good to see them, but the weather was extremely cold and not conducive to hiking/running. They enjoyed a day of skiing in Michigan though, so I am glad that worked out for them.
Danielle and Dave accompanied me on a hike at Potato Creek in October. I'm hoping they will join me for some of these upcoming trail races in 2015. There is a DINO trail race at Potato Creek on June 20 that I'm hoping friends and family will do with me. Maybe even Pat will join in the fun. His feet are feeling better and he walked two miles at Tippecanoe River State Park recently on a hike/run with me. He also walked at newly discovered Starke County Forest the other day, where we saw one large white swan. My sign. I'm right where I belong.
