Tree of Life is one of those rare films that held my interest all the way through. I will probably watch it again. It was visually beautiful, nostalgic, poignant, thought-provoking. I wanted to jot down my initial impressions here on my long-neglected blog. This is still a rough draft, but I need to publish it for lack of time to finish.
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth....when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy." (Job 38:4,7)
God's ways are mysterious. Who are we to judge God? It is He who brings trials and tests into our lives and judges us.
God as fire.
Our God is (literally?) a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29; Deut. 4:24). We can only know Him as He reveals Himself in Scripture and in nature.
"The nuns taught us, there is the way of Nature and the way of Grace. Choose which one you'll follow.
Grace doesn't try to please itself......forgotten, disliked.....accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself, lord it over....find reasons to be unhappy."
Some basic truths from Scripture are taught in Catholicism. Not everything we learned was false. Choosing right from wrong was a strong theme growing up Catholic. (Much Catholic imagery/sounds in this film as the family attended Catholic church.) However, I never learned in Catholicism how to overcome natural tendencies and the self life. I never heard about being "born again" and experiencing new life as a new creation with godly tendencies and the ability to choose good over evil.
The mom in this movie seemed to be born again, demonstrating the "grace" life. She was filled with the fruit of the Spirit......gentleness, goodness, wisdom, patience, etc. The dad, on the other hand, illustrated the "lord it over" natural man, ambitious, egocentric, cold, tough, determined, critical.
The son was influenced by both parents, caught in the middle, confused, indecisive about which way to go in life. Turns out his "good" brother and mother won out in the tug of war for his soul, eventually leading him to walk through "the Door" (YESHUA = The Door) later in life after his struggle and soul search. At least in a dream sequence. Not sure how to understand it.
Reviewing his life - in vignettes. I wonder if this theme was influenced by the movie writer's own born again experience, an experience similar to mine, seeing my whole life flash before me and dealing with it in tears of insight, outsight, regret, repentance.
Scene concerning death of 19 year old brother:
When tragedy strikes, news of the death of a loved one, human comfort means well but is inadequate. Platitudes that hurt rather than comfort. "You have two other children..."
Tragedy begets regrets. Dad: "I made him feel ashamed."
Firstborn son/Protagonist knew something of experiencing God. "How did You come to me? In what shape? What disguise? (Scenes of birds, sunsets) How did I lose you? Wandered. Forgot You....Find me."
Recognized his lost condition. Wondered how his mother bore the tragedy of losing her son(s) without getting bitter and losing her faith. Rather than blame God, Mom soul-searched: "Was I false to You?" and asked the classic question, "Why?????"
"Did You know? Who are we to You? Answer me."
Consideration given to "Natural" origin of Universe. My thoughts during the visual spectacle: Mystery. Particles coming together could have happened in split second in God's time/mind. Intelligent Design. In the beginning God created.... We can only conjecture how, when.
After "Big Bang", development of sea life, eohippus, dinosaurs.....seemed a rather ridiculous theory to me, depicting man's attempt to understand the unknowable past.
"We cry to you, my soul, my son. Hear us."
How can one pray to "nature" (Evolution makes no sense).
Her love for her son wrapped up in her very soul.
New day dawns......amoeba
"Life, my life. I search for you. My hope....my child."
???
Son reflects: "You spoke to me through her (mother)". "From the sky, the trees...before I knew I loved You, believed in You. When did you first touch my heart?" He realizes his heart had been touched by God in various ways in his life from his earliest remembrances. Scenes depicting his thoughts and remembrances (life flashing before him in non-linear vignettes)
Before I was born?
As a small child?
Through my little Bible?
Child's Bible?
Autumn leaves?
Christening?
Toddler?
With Dad?
Tree breezes?
Baby brother?
Fireflies?
Mom points to the sky: "That's where God lives." Hatikvah plays. (The Hope/Israel's National Anthem). Why that song? (Not listed in credits at end of film. Hatikvah must be based on a classical piece unknown to me?)
Does the son think of his mom as almost a goddess? "Mother, make me good, brave." Do sons think of their moms as godlike? Almost worship us? We are a type of God to our young sons?
Parents together demonstrate aspects of God.
Mom - nurturing, comforting, wise
Dad - Can be harsh, tough, wrathful, judgmental
(Was glad the film did not depict the Dad as one dimensional. There were moments when the son realized his dad truly loved him and the dad was able to express tenderness.)
Parents are an imperfect reflection of God, themselves influenced by their own upbringing and societal influences.
Son: "Where do You live? Are You watching me? I want to know what You are. I want to see what You see."
Imperfect Church, lame sermons. Lighting candles for the dead (brought back memories of me doing that for my grandfather in Catholic Church).
Little brother drowns in pool
"Was he bad? Where were You? You let a boy die. You let anything happen." (DDT spraying scene with kids playing in it).
"Why should I be good if You aren't?"
(Meanwhile, Mom walks in grace and peace. "Love everyone. Forgive.")
Son: "What I want to do I can't do. I do what I hate." (lots of Scriptural references throughout).
"Father. Mother. Always you wrestle inside me. Always. You always will. I'm as bad as you are. More like you than her."
"The only way to be happy is to love....Do good to them. Wonder. Hope."
Dream sequence?
Son walked through Door. "Keep us, Guide us. To the end of time."
Follow Me
"I give him to You"
My thoughts:
So much we don't understand. Can only speculate. Choose good, choose surrender. Walk through the Door (YESHUA) Choose to love, forgive.
Peter's struggles depicted in protagonists's thoughts.
I never had these particular struggles about theodicy. Always knew "God is good." I never blamed God. I blamed myself for my misery because I turned away from good/God.
Identified with depictions of 50's childhood.....the wood swing was just like one my dad made me.....the neighborhood, fences, yards, neighborhood playmates, curtains blowing in the breeze, fireflies at night.
Identified with the house fire scene. Had a classmate with dead little brother from fire. He went back for his slippers and was trapped. Affected me at the time. But I did not blame God or think Him evil to allow this to happen. Just felt bad for my classmate and did not know what to say to her, so said nothing.
Did not identify with harsh, disciplinarian dad. My dad was not like him. My dad was gentle, kind, and encouraging. I did not blame God for evil, for house fires, for deaths, for disappointments.
Ocean/sand scene: Not so great depiction of Eternity? of seeing our loved ones again? Why such desolate landscapes? Purgatory?
Least understood part of the film was ocean scene and following. Scene shifts back to the son and the city skyscrapers. I thought, "It's not going to end like this, is it?" It did.
12/11/2011
12/31/2010
Four Years Later.........Inspired, Hopeful, Wondering, Weeping.......
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2006
My Near Conversion to Orthodox Judaism, Interlude
by Peter Sander
Find entrance to the narrow gate
Through which find the waters living
Forgo Him, Oh! A dreaded fate
Embrace Him now, the Oft Forgiving.
Others have a wall erected
Through ordinances that set a limit
Zealously a well protected
To keep away the thirsty admit.
This thirsty soul bore the weight
Sought from this well the guarded giving
And rather found a fleeting bait
All this to his own misgiving.
For this well, the Lord rejected
Idols in his heart did sit
The liberating Word deflected
Self-charmed by trust in wit.
Forsaken was the freeing yoke
For promise of a purer well
Forbidden fire did he stoke
A piety of rote to lull.
Burden heavy, nigh to croak
Beneath the weight, which on him fell
God the scaffold was wont to poke
To make the burden twice a hell.
‘Neath the weight, finally broken
Chastised son, His praises tell
Of the gate that was forsaken
Yea, the Lord, this trial to quell.
Burden lifted, Spirit freeing
On my knees, His presence new
Commandments with new eyes seeing
Life infused, so free to do.
Posted by PeterS (Tzuriel) at 1:35 PM
1 comments:
Maureen said...
Awesome composition!
May these words be an inspiration and comfort, especially to someone who may think it is too late to return to the "Oft Forgiving" God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
I have found in my life that recognizing and repenting of the idols in my heart has resulted in this new infusion of life that you speak of, along with a renewed, joyful ability to walk in God's ways. Salvation is not a one-time event at a church altar or bedside, but an ongoing, renewable relationship with the LORD. Our spiritual lives ebb and flow; the fire sometimes burns low. We must come to the "Oft Forgiving" again and again. Not that we walk in willful sin as true believers, but we get off the narrow path somehow and find ourselves in the thicket or ditch, from whence we call upon the LORD for rescue once again. Yeshua would much prefer to come to our rescue now than be our Judge later.
December 25, 2006 12:36:00 PM CST
My Near Conversion to Orthodox Judaism, Interlude
by Peter Sander
Find entrance to the narrow gate
Through which find the waters living
Forgo Him, Oh! A dreaded fate
Embrace Him now, the Oft Forgiving.
Others have a wall erected
Through ordinances that set a limit
Zealously a well protected
To keep away the thirsty admit.
This thirsty soul bore the weight
Sought from this well the guarded giving
And rather found a fleeting bait
All this to his own misgiving.
For this well, the Lord rejected
Idols in his heart did sit
The liberating Word deflected
Self-charmed by trust in wit.
Forsaken was the freeing yoke
For promise of a purer well
Forbidden fire did he stoke
A piety of rote to lull.
Burden heavy, nigh to croak
Beneath the weight, which on him fell
God the scaffold was wont to poke
To make the burden twice a hell.
‘Neath the weight, finally broken
Chastised son, His praises tell
Of the gate that was forsaken
Yea, the Lord, this trial to quell.
Burden lifted, Spirit freeing
On my knees, His presence new
Commandments with new eyes seeing
Life infused, so free to do.
Posted by PeterS (Tzuriel) at 1:35 PM
1 comments:
Maureen said...
Awesome composition!
May these words be an inspiration and comfort, especially to someone who may think it is too late to return to the "Oft Forgiving" God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
I have found in my life that recognizing and repenting of the idols in my heart has resulted in this new infusion of life that you speak of, along with a renewed, joyful ability to walk in God's ways. Salvation is not a one-time event at a church altar or bedside, but an ongoing, renewable relationship with the LORD. Our spiritual lives ebb and flow; the fire sometimes burns low. We must come to the "Oft Forgiving" again and again. Not that we walk in willful sin as true believers, but we get off the narrow path somehow and find ourselves in the thicket or ditch, from whence we call upon the LORD for rescue once again. Yeshua would much prefer to come to our rescue now than be our Judge later.
December 25, 2006 12:36:00 PM CST
11/11/2010
Moments to Remember
(This is a rough draft version from my notes. If I don’t publish it on my blog this way it probably won’t be posted, and I want to remember this day. Wish I had more time to write.)
My Culver Day.......
Written Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I worked 7-3:30 as usual, and now I am sitting on the staff pier looking at my dorm – another perspective. Usually I’m looking out the window of the dorm to the view of the Lake where I sit, hoping for some inspiration to write. This beloved lake is so relaxing, tranquilizing, inspirational. It is very warm – 80 degrees and bright sunshine – perhaps the last day of its kind this year, so I’m taking advantage of it; numbering my days, i.e, making each day count.
Foliage is spectacular this year, especially on this New England-esque campus with many kinds of deciduous trees in various shades of golds, greens, and crimsons. I hear the little waterfall, and the Lake is in such a quiet, gentle mood it is enticing me to take off my shoes and wade awhile in the water. Why not? If my dorm girls see me being silly, oh well. I am what I am -- a bit eccentric and childlike.
Well that was soothing and refreshing! Mid October and the water is still warm enough to wade in. Therapeutic for my tired feet too. I spend at least seven hours a day walking the halls and working hard; love it though. So satisfying to keep a nice place clean. Today I cleaned some screens and windows. I like to enhance the view with some clarity.
Four o’clock, chimes the Chapel bell tower. Maybe I’ll mosey on over to the stable and see what kind of riding activity is going on – jumping lessons hopefully.
I used to park here on the hill; now I fully belong here. Just found out that I can borrow books from the library as an employee as well. I am part of the Culver mystique now, learning by osmosis as I go.
I enjoy the many Sycamore trees on campus, especially the ones that jut out over the lake. A large branch fell into the water in a storm and the ducks enjoy perching on it. Noticed that on my 5 minute jaunt along the lakeshore on my way to the Dining Hall for lunch.
So it’s Polo practice at the Equestrian Center. Both boys and girls are participating. Found out jumping team practice is on M/W/F about this time. Polo on T/Th.
So many activities going on – football practice, soccer. Such a gorgeous day to be outdoors.
Time for a visit to Town on this pretty Autumn day. It feels so nostalgic to be here. Somehow it is reminiscent of my 1950’s New England childhood. Then I have flashbacks to times over the years since 1977 when I have visited this place with my own small children, 4th of July fireworks over the lake with family and friends (often), Woodcraft Camp 2007/2008 with Austin and Denise, when Culver fever really hit me.
Here I am at the Lighthouse, one of my favorite spots at the Town Park, along with the Gazebo and under the Sycamore tree on the beach. Looks like they are taking the boat slips away for the winter. There are still quite a few pontoon boats.
I love the sound of crickets. Gulls are squawking. One motorboat cruises the lake. Saw a couple of jet skiers earlier. This summer season has extended well into Fall this year.
Looks like I am the only one on the beach again this week. Will Tuesday be my writing day weekly? Shall I observe the changing seasons and scenarios from the Vandalia vantage point?
A couple of boys are skateboarding. Two guys are now taking apart a boat docking pier. Summer is ending, but going out in great glory.
There are some two-man kayaks. Would love to learn to do that next summer. They look pretty safe and fun. They are not the kind that trap you inside.
Maybe I’ll take a walk on the trail from the town park to campus. Should be delightful to walk this nature path with the foliage so brilliant right about now. Walking through the park, I notice they have installed some new swings. Cool! Vandalia Village tot park is a favorite with the little tykes. No one here today though.
This beauty surrounding me just fills up my senses (to quote a John Denver song). So amazing. No words to describe the gentle rustle of falling leaves. Where’s my camera? I could never capture what I am experiencing. So here I am back on campus .... at the motel....that was the girls’ dorm in 1977 when I walked here. Next to these old buildings is my beloved Linden/Ithaca dorm, built about 15 years ago I’m told. All is quiet on this end of campus. A couple of joggers head my way.
The boat slips are being pulled out of the water here too – but the workers have gone home for the day. I saw them earlier wearing wetsuits. 9 boats and 2 jet skis remain docked. Sailboats, pontoons, and fast motorboats. Not a peep from my dorm. Probably all gone to dinner at the Dining Hall. So peaceful. Lovely towering sycamore tree here.
I suppose I should head back along the wooded path to my car, and home. It’s 5 pm. Pat is probably wondering when I’ll be home. He knew I wanted to do this. He took this week off as vacation.
LORD bless Linden/Ithaca dorm and keep my girls safe.
Back at the town park..........
The huge trees in this park were here in 1977 when I lived here. Something comforting about leaning up against them. Now I’m sitting at the base of one mighty oak, looking towards Jerusalem across the lake.
I read up on some of the Lake’s history recently, especially the name. It has been called many variations of Maxinkuckee, with many supposed meanings of the name. Since it could be anything sounding something like the present name originally, maybe I’ll call it Lake Matzacookie in honor of “The Bread of Life” that fell from Heaven. Maybe the Indian tribes of long ago were descendents of ancient Hebrews as some conjecture (with some evidence) and the name became garbled from something related to Matza.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fellowship gathering here some time? Maybe during Shavuot 2011. I can dream.
Here comes a 3 year old and a mom pushing a stroller. The little girl is climbing the “tall ship” with delight. Now down the slide....climbing the rope. Mom takes a picture.
Feeling almost as young and alive as this child. Filled with wonder. A skip in her step. ....As for me, I’m not even tired. Feeling very blessed today.
The sun is setting. I see it thru the trees. Time to head home. It has been a delightful day. And I get to come back here tomorrow and get paid for it, plus a free outdoor BBQ lunch for “Culver Academies Spirit Day.”
Hopefully, I’ll get to see some horse jumping in the arena tomorrow at 4 pm. On a rainy day I’ll visit the Library and the Historical Museum.
Life is good.
Talking to trees now......
“Hello, old friend. I remember you. Do you remember me?”
My lovely home (1977-78) on Lakeshore Drive looks just the same. Best bedroom ever. Has a little alcove with a desk. Great place to write. My bedroom, Dave’s room, the living room, and the enclosed front porch all had a splendid view of the Lake just across the street. And the tacos at Swirly Top on the corner were delicious. I used to send the kids after them and eat them on the porch. Springtime brought this town to life.
Drinking was my downfall. How different things could have been without the booze. We could have moved for the summer and rented the house again in the fall. Maybe we would have ended up buying it. I could have fulfilled my equine lust working at Culver. I remember they had Smith Worthington forward seat saddles at the time; my favorite.
Missed opportunities.
A father and son are fishing from the pier in front of the Lighthouse now. How hard it is to leave this paradise.
One last farewell panoramic glance.......
My Culver Day.......
Written Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I worked 7-3:30 as usual, and now I am sitting on the staff pier looking at my dorm – another perspective. Usually I’m looking out the window of the dorm to the view of the Lake where I sit, hoping for some inspiration to write. This beloved lake is so relaxing, tranquilizing, inspirational. It is very warm – 80 degrees and bright sunshine – perhaps the last day of its kind this year, so I’m taking advantage of it; numbering my days, i.e, making each day count.
Foliage is spectacular this year, especially on this New England-esque campus with many kinds of deciduous trees in various shades of golds, greens, and crimsons. I hear the little waterfall, and the Lake is in such a quiet, gentle mood it is enticing me to take off my shoes and wade awhile in the water. Why not? If my dorm girls see me being silly, oh well. I am what I am -- a bit eccentric and childlike.
Well that was soothing and refreshing! Mid October and the water is still warm enough to wade in. Therapeutic for my tired feet too. I spend at least seven hours a day walking the halls and working hard; love it though. So satisfying to keep a nice place clean. Today I cleaned some screens and windows. I like to enhance the view with some clarity.
Four o’clock, chimes the Chapel bell tower. Maybe I’ll mosey on over to the stable and see what kind of riding activity is going on – jumping lessons hopefully.
I used to park here on the hill; now I fully belong here. Just found out that I can borrow books from the library as an employee as well. I am part of the Culver mystique now, learning by osmosis as I go.
I enjoy the many Sycamore trees on campus, especially the ones that jut out over the lake. A large branch fell into the water in a storm and the ducks enjoy perching on it. Noticed that on my 5 minute jaunt along the lakeshore on my way to the Dining Hall for lunch.
So it’s Polo practice at the Equestrian Center. Both boys and girls are participating. Found out jumping team practice is on M/W/F about this time. Polo on T/Th.
So many activities going on – football practice, soccer. Such a gorgeous day to be outdoors.
Time for a visit to Town on this pretty Autumn day. It feels so nostalgic to be here. Somehow it is reminiscent of my 1950’s New England childhood. Then I have flashbacks to times over the years since 1977 when I have visited this place with my own small children, 4th of July fireworks over the lake with family and friends (often), Woodcraft Camp 2007/2008 with Austin and Denise, when Culver fever really hit me.
Here I am at the Lighthouse, one of my favorite spots at the Town Park, along with the Gazebo and under the Sycamore tree on the beach. Looks like they are taking the boat slips away for the winter. There are still quite a few pontoon boats.
I love the sound of crickets. Gulls are squawking. One motorboat cruises the lake. Saw a couple of jet skiers earlier. This summer season has extended well into Fall this year.
Looks like I am the only one on the beach again this week. Will Tuesday be my writing day weekly? Shall I observe the changing seasons and scenarios from the Vandalia vantage point?
A couple of boys are skateboarding. Two guys are now taking apart a boat docking pier. Summer is ending, but going out in great glory.
There are some two-man kayaks. Would love to learn to do that next summer. They look pretty safe and fun. They are not the kind that trap you inside.
Maybe I’ll take a walk on the trail from the town park to campus. Should be delightful to walk this nature path with the foliage so brilliant right about now. Walking through the park, I notice they have installed some new swings. Cool! Vandalia Village tot park is a favorite with the little tykes. No one here today though.
This beauty surrounding me just fills up my senses (to quote a John Denver song). So amazing. No words to describe the gentle rustle of falling leaves. Where’s my camera? I could never capture what I am experiencing. So here I am back on campus .... at the motel....that was the girls’ dorm in 1977 when I walked here. Next to these old buildings is my beloved Linden/Ithaca dorm, built about 15 years ago I’m told. All is quiet on this end of campus. A couple of joggers head my way.
The boat slips are being pulled out of the water here too – but the workers have gone home for the day. I saw them earlier wearing wetsuits. 9 boats and 2 jet skis remain docked. Sailboats, pontoons, and fast motorboats. Not a peep from my dorm. Probably all gone to dinner at the Dining Hall. So peaceful. Lovely towering sycamore tree here.
I suppose I should head back along the wooded path to my car, and home. It’s 5 pm. Pat is probably wondering when I’ll be home. He knew I wanted to do this. He took this week off as vacation.
LORD bless Linden/Ithaca dorm and keep my girls safe.
Back at the town park..........
The huge trees in this park were here in 1977 when I lived here. Something comforting about leaning up against them. Now I’m sitting at the base of one mighty oak, looking towards Jerusalem across the lake.
I read up on some of the Lake’s history recently, especially the name. It has been called many variations of Maxinkuckee, with many supposed meanings of the name. Since it could be anything sounding something like the present name originally, maybe I’ll call it Lake Matzacookie in honor of “The Bread of Life” that fell from Heaven. Maybe the Indian tribes of long ago were descendents of ancient Hebrews as some conjecture (with some evidence) and the name became garbled from something related to Matza.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fellowship gathering here some time? Maybe during Shavuot 2011. I can dream.
Here comes a 3 year old and a mom pushing a stroller. The little girl is climbing the “tall ship” with delight. Now down the slide....climbing the rope. Mom takes a picture.
Feeling almost as young and alive as this child. Filled with wonder. A skip in her step. ....As for me, I’m not even tired. Feeling very blessed today.
The sun is setting. I see it thru the trees. Time to head home. It has been a delightful day. And I get to come back here tomorrow and get paid for it, plus a free outdoor BBQ lunch for “Culver Academies Spirit Day.”
Hopefully, I’ll get to see some horse jumping in the arena tomorrow at 4 pm. On a rainy day I’ll visit the Library and the Historical Museum.
Life is good.
Talking to trees now......
“Hello, old friend. I remember you. Do you remember me?”
My lovely home (1977-78) on Lakeshore Drive looks just the same. Best bedroom ever. Has a little alcove with a desk. Great place to write. My bedroom, Dave’s room, the living room, and the enclosed front porch all had a splendid view of the Lake just across the street. And the tacos at Swirly Top on the corner were delicious. I used to send the kids after them and eat them on the porch. Springtime brought this town to life.
Drinking was my downfall. How different things could have been without the booze. We could have moved for the summer and rented the house again in the fall. Maybe we would have ended up buying it. I could have fulfilled my equine lust working at Culver. I remember they had Smith Worthington forward seat saddles at the time; my favorite.
Missed opportunities.
A father and son are fishing from the pier in front of the Lighthouse now. How hard it is to leave this paradise.
One last farewell panoramic glance.......
10/17/2010
Called to Culver
[My apologies to blog readers who expect a different kind of post from me. Indulging in some reflective personal journaling this month.....]
Written Tuesday, October 5, 2010........
It is an absolute gorgeous Autumn day as I sit in the sunshine by the Vandalia Park Lighthouse, Town of Culver, Indiana. It is 4 pm. I’m all alone, listening to crickets and the lap of the lakeshore. I encountered a couple in love, hand in hand, an exercise walker, and three children talking quietly on a park bench. Otherwise, blessed solitude....as I like it.
The water is crystal clear as usual. Such paradise. I love it here. Why did I ever leave when the LORD led us to Culver from Massachusetts in October 1977. We rented the “mansion” on Lake Shore Drive, just behind me, across from the Beach Lodge, for only $200 a month from October to June. Fond memories. Like the memorable Blizzard of ’78. And some, not so fond....like the bad case of flu that lasted nearly a month after getting the “swine flu” vaccine. And the loneliness and strangeness I felt here at the time, having never lived in another part of the country before. It was so different from what I was used to. And I did not know the LORD then. I did not perceive His Hand in leading us here 33 years ago this month. Oddly, I was 33 years old when I came to know the LORD...actually 3 days and 3 months before my 33rd birthday. 33 seems like a significant number in my life. It’s even in my phone number.
A half mile from where I now sit is where I now work—Culver Academies. I can see the staff swimming pier from here, currently hosting gulls and a lone sandhill crane. The private beach/pier is just steps from the front door of the Linden/Ithaca dorm I am privileged to keep clean. Love it. A placement from Heaven. Compatibility all around. A miracle. “Dreams come true at Lindenland” the sign on the bedsheet said. (The girls decorated their dorms in a Disney/Peter Pan theme.) I’m told I’m “a breath of fresh air” and doing “an awesome job”. Wow! Me? who can’t seem to clean her own cluttered house and hates housework? This is SO like the LORD to take me out of my comfort zone and show me His grace and power to transform. I am really getting a workout on this job. I have lost almost 15 lbs. since I started working here on August 19. My skinny jeans fit me that I never thought I would be able to wear again. I work hard, got my first callous; did not even know what it was. I guess I have not worked hard enough all my life. I am gaining fitness, which is one of my motivations for taking this “menial” job. This is turning out to be the best job ever. I much prefer it to computer/office work. The time goes by quickly. Lunch in the Dining Hall is free and has very good food, with healthy selections. Looking forward to meeting the Director of Food Services, who happens to be someone my son played with every day at age 8 during our 8 months living in Culver. I also look forward to meeting Culver’s part-time historical archivist who is also the Editor of the Culver Citizen newspaper. He is a young man I met online ten years ago as President of the Dave Van Ronk fan club. Van Ronk was an obscure folk musician.....with a fan from Culver of all places. I used to play Van Ronk’s rendition of Urge for Going in 1978. Maybe Jeff heard the music wafting from my front porch as he passed my house at age 4. Such a small world.
I enjoy having lunch with my husband nearly every day, who also works here at the Academies. This is a great sunset career for me, and the physical fitness will prepare me to hike the hills of Israel someday.
The three boys are playing in the park now, tossing a plastic bottle in the air, pretending it is a football, playing tag. Seems like time stands still in this town. It is still 1960 here. The foliage is brilliant. The temperature, about 70 degrees. Idyllic. A towering sycamore tree graces the sand beach, along with a family of ducks.
I saw Weston on campus yesterday. He said, “So glad you’re here.” I said, “Finally!” It has taken three years to be hired at Culver. I first became enamored of the Academies in 2007 when my grandson attended Woodcraft Camp. Weston was his Counselor and a wonderful inspiration. Being hired here was all in the LORD’s timing I suppose. I thought I would start out working with the horses, but that did not happen. “To everything there is a season...” How often did I ponder and pray on that park bench at Lilac Point near the Huffington Library. “Turn, turn, turn.....” was the last part of the quotation on the nameplate. If I turned my head I could see Linden-Ithaca dorm. Who knew that it would one day be “my” building. God knew. He gave me the best building on campus – spectacular view of the lake from the second story “treehouse” lounge, newish construction, delightful, considerate, friendly girls who make my job easy and pleasant. I love watching the girls go off to class, riding lessons, other activities. I feel like a “mom” again. I don’t mind dusting around their golf clubs, riding boots, and other paraphernalia related to the amazing opportunities they have at this school. From sailing instruction to rowing, riding, fencing, flight simulation, theatre, band, basketball....the sky is the limit when it comes to academic and extracurricular activities.
I love this little town. So peaceful. A resort town in summer, it is quiet now. Artists and writers call Culver home. So do I. I call it my home away from home. I hope to continue to write my thoughts from this location. I look forward to experiencing the beauty of the four seasons from the many scenic Lake Maxinkuckee vantage points here in town and on Campus. Feeling very blessed.
Written Tuesday, October 5, 2010........
It is an absolute gorgeous Autumn day as I sit in the sunshine by the Vandalia Park Lighthouse, Town of Culver, Indiana. It is 4 pm. I’m all alone, listening to crickets and the lap of the lakeshore. I encountered a couple in love, hand in hand, an exercise walker, and three children talking quietly on a park bench. Otherwise, blessed solitude....as I like it.
The water is crystal clear as usual. Such paradise. I love it here. Why did I ever leave when the LORD led us to Culver from Massachusetts in October 1977. We rented the “mansion” on Lake Shore Drive, just behind me, across from the Beach Lodge, for only $200 a month from October to June. Fond memories. Like the memorable Blizzard of ’78. And some, not so fond....like the bad case of flu that lasted nearly a month after getting the “swine flu” vaccine. And the loneliness and strangeness I felt here at the time, having never lived in another part of the country before. It was so different from what I was used to. And I did not know the LORD then. I did not perceive His Hand in leading us here 33 years ago this month. Oddly, I was 33 years old when I came to know the LORD...actually 3 days and 3 months before my 33rd birthday. 33 seems like a significant number in my life. It’s even in my phone number.
A half mile from where I now sit is where I now work—Culver Academies. I can see the staff swimming pier from here, currently hosting gulls and a lone sandhill crane. The private beach/pier is just steps from the front door of the Linden/Ithaca dorm I am privileged to keep clean. Love it. A placement from Heaven. Compatibility all around. A miracle. “Dreams come true at Lindenland” the sign on the bedsheet said. (The girls decorated their dorms in a Disney/Peter Pan theme.) I’m told I’m “a breath of fresh air” and doing “an awesome job”. Wow! Me? who can’t seem to clean her own cluttered house and hates housework? This is SO like the LORD to take me out of my comfort zone and show me His grace and power to transform. I am really getting a workout on this job. I have lost almost 15 lbs. since I started working here on August 19. My skinny jeans fit me that I never thought I would be able to wear again. I work hard, got my first callous; did not even know what it was. I guess I have not worked hard enough all my life. I am gaining fitness, which is one of my motivations for taking this “menial” job. This is turning out to be the best job ever. I much prefer it to computer/office work. The time goes by quickly. Lunch in the Dining Hall is free and has very good food, with healthy selections. Looking forward to meeting the Director of Food Services, who happens to be someone my son played with every day at age 8 during our 8 months living in Culver. I also look forward to meeting Culver’s part-time historical archivist who is also the Editor of the Culver Citizen newspaper. He is a young man I met online ten years ago as President of the Dave Van Ronk fan club. Van Ronk was an obscure folk musician.....with a fan from Culver of all places. I used to play Van Ronk’s rendition of Urge for Going in 1978. Maybe Jeff heard the music wafting from my front porch as he passed my house at age 4. Such a small world.
I enjoy having lunch with my husband nearly every day, who also works here at the Academies. This is a great sunset career for me, and the physical fitness will prepare me to hike the hills of Israel someday.
The three boys are playing in the park now, tossing a plastic bottle in the air, pretending it is a football, playing tag. Seems like time stands still in this town. It is still 1960 here. The foliage is brilliant. The temperature, about 70 degrees. Idyllic. A towering sycamore tree graces the sand beach, along with a family of ducks.
I saw Weston on campus yesterday. He said, “So glad you’re here.” I said, “Finally!” It has taken three years to be hired at Culver. I first became enamored of the Academies in 2007 when my grandson attended Woodcraft Camp. Weston was his Counselor and a wonderful inspiration. Being hired here was all in the LORD’s timing I suppose. I thought I would start out working with the horses, but that did not happen. “To everything there is a season...” How often did I ponder and pray on that park bench at Lilac Point near the Huffington Library. “Turn, turn, turn.....” was the last part of the quotation on the nameplate. If I turned my head I could see Linden-Ithaca dorm. Who knew that it would one day be “my” building. God knew. He gave me the best building on campus – spectacular view of the lake from the second story “treehouse” lounge, newish construction, delightful, considerate, friendly girls who make my job easy and pleasant. I love watching the girls go off to class, riding lessons, other activities. I feel like a “mom” again. I don’t mind dusting around their golf clubs, riding boots, and other paraphernalia related to the amazing opportunities they have at this school. From sailing instruction to rowing, riding, fencing, flight simulation, theatre, band, basketball....the sky is the limit when it comes to academic and extracurricular activities.
I love this little town. So peaceful. A resort town in summer, it is quiet now. Artists and writers call Culver home. So do I. I call it my home away from home. I hope to continue to write my thoughts from this location. I look forward to experiencing the beauty of the four seasons from the many scenic Lake Maxinkuckee vantage points here in town and on Campus. Feeling very blessed.
8/01/2010
Sabbath Fellowship: Will the Bubble Burst?
Something amazing happened on Sabbath, July 17, 2010. After almost ten years of seeking fellowship, I finally gathered on Sabbath with like-minded believers! I am still basking in the glow of that Grace-filled encounter.
This searching for the “swan pond” started in March 2001 when I renewed my commitment to keeping the commandments of God. I had been out of fellowship with the LORD for a time, not backslidden, but lukewarm, having been out of the antinomian churches for almost a decade and trying to maintain my faith virtually on my own. Pat and I tried to stick to a home church format at first, but with just the two of us, we became lax. Occasionally we would have friends over, but there never seemed to be a cohesiveness or like-mindedness. I was the proverbial ugly duckling, never finding a fit in all the churches we tried. We published the Moss Patch Newsletter until about 1998 and that gave us a venue to share with the scattered brethren who somewhat held our views, but the fervent embers seemed to fade with time and lack of fellowship.
By this time, Pat and I were on the road as independent contractors delivering trucks and motorhomes nationwide. It was quite a fun adventure for awhile, and we traversed and crisscrossed just about every state including a trek to Alaska......but it became too rushed, stressful, and exhausting. The ribbon of highway became a blur of bleary-eyed fatigue. Sometimes Sabbath convictions had to be compromised. I needed to get off the road after seven years of it. Pat continued for several more years, while I worked at home doing order entry for our son’s transport business.
In the Fall of 2000 I conducted an Internet search using the keyword “Sabbath” and came up with the Bible Sabbath Association. I figured anyone likeminded would also be a Sabbatarian and that would be a start for seeking fellowship. I subscribed to the Sabbath Sentinel, and from perusal of that magazine discovered there was such a thing as the Messianic movement and mindset. I discovered Daniel Botkin and Gates of Eden and read his publications, dialoguing with him via email on occasion. This led to discovering other Messianic ministries, including FFOZ. I ordered a packet of materials from that organization, learned about Torah Club, and was very excited about joining. I showed my son, who lived next door at the time, and asked him to lead the study, but his impression was that it was “too foreign.” He was not interested. Thus, in September 2001, Pat and I started Volume 1 of Torah Club on our own and completed Children’s Torah Club with the grandchildren. We went through volumes 2, 3, 4, and 5 in subsequent years. I was excited about all this Jewish/Hebraic learning. Pat was somewhat lukewarm about it but participated ....until he heard something doctrinally disturbing on an audio lesson in Volume 4 and was not satisfied with the sluggish response in addressing and correcting it. This, along with an increasingly rabbinic focus in Volume 5, which we dubbed the “ding the bell series,” caused him to jump off the Messianic bandwagon. Dave had been right.....it was “too foreign.” We were not interested in going this far with what we considered a rigid rabbinic mindset. It was interesting and insightful to learn of it, but we did not wish to embrace so stringent a level of observance as we perceived to be practiced by the leadership of this organization. We did not wish to follow in these footsteps. We wanted role models we could follow in practical terms.
In 2006, I discovered Tim Hegg and Torah Resource and signed up for a very relevant class in light of then current controversies. This led to joining Torah Resource forum. This was a most satisfying time for me as TR forum members interacted with one another and discussed the swirling controversies and made lasting friendships. One friendship in particular became almost a lifeline and brightened my lonely days. While I did not have in-person fellowship with the likeminded, at least I had “virtual fellowship” via forums, blogs, and email. But the ongoing controversies became divisive......and some could not handle the lack of unity between the major Messianic players. These were our esteemed leaders and they did not agree among themselves. Newbies became confused and upset. Some fell away, their faith shattered and shipwrecked. Some converted to Orthodox Judaism, or became Noachides. Others weathered the storms, but not without damaged emotions and confused theologies.
I was among the surviving but not thriving. I was looking for sound doctrine, wisdom, and spiritual guidance yet only able to glean nuggets here and there and move in and out of online relationships with various people of varying perspectives. I needed real live fellowship but where was I to go? Should I drive two hours by myself to meet with strangers (small home groups who maybe had a few things in common with my views)? That seemed scary. Should I attend a Messianic synagogue in Indianapolis? The website did not make me feel especially welcome as a non-Jew. Some said driving a car on Sabbath was prohibited (do not kindle a fire on the Sabbath day – Ex. 35:3) and two hours was too far regardless. I searched online for closer fellowships over the years but they seemed to disband soon after being formed, or there were other reasons for my reluctance to attend new startups. I resigned myself to online fellowship.......but even that was unstable with forums closing down, experiencing the sting and rejection of being banned at other forums, etc. Messianic friends and acquaintances continued to commit apostacide, disappoint and disillusion, or go down paths I did not wish to follow.
Eventually I was persuaded to join Facebook. Who would guess that I would meet a zealous Messianic couple with Torah convictions who many years ago were in my son’s church youth group and were inspired by him! Larry went on to study theology and counseling at Grace Theological Seminary and became a pastor. We got acquainted on Facebook through my daughter-in-law and discovered we knew some of the same people and shared similar convictions and experiences. Best of all, Barb and Larry were moving within an hour’s drive of me!
By this time, though, something held me back from meeting people in person. I had become homebound, reclusive, and non-social because of the years of isolation. I hardly left home and experienced crowd anxiety when I did. I preferred to be alone because I had grown accustomed to it. Besides, I had a virtual social life online where my friends could not see my cluttered, neglected home and self. How had I degenerated so? I was chronically fatigued with mystery ailments. It was a vicious cycle of not being able to socialize because of fatigue, anxiety, mystery ailments, nutritional/hormonal imbalances, lack of confidence, fear, whatever. What was wrong with me? I prayed about it, tried various supplements, went for long walks, exercised, but only experienced slight improvement of symptoms. Nothing was really wrong with me......except that I was dysfunctional......for whatever reasons that I could not fully fathom. I had good days and bad days. I resigned myself to believing that God wanted me isolated so I could be a prayer warrior, dialogue online, and write....although even my blog was neglected.
As I became better acquainted with Larry and Barb on Facebook, I began to feel comfortable about meeting them, especially since they offered to come to Culver and walk with me. They would meet me at my current comfort level. On the 6th of April we met for a wonderful walk and talk. I liked them both very much. I met them for other walks at Winona Lake and was very impressed with their delightful, home-schooled children. Finally, I was ready to meet them for a gathering at their home. They had invited people to come and get acquainted, possibly forming a Sabbath fellowship together. A series of circumstances had led to the desire to form this alignment with Church of God (Seventh Day) members who were also looking for a local Sabbath congregation. On July 17, COG-7 elders came from Colorado and Michigan along with potential members of this new fellowship to the Rice home near Syracuse, and I was there!!! And I felt comfortable! I felt as if I belonged with this group of people. The children were all sweet and well-behaved. These were strong families and godly, zealous individuals who shared many of my convictions. Had this misfit “swan” finally found the right pond? I was especially impressed with Calvin Burrell. I had known of him through my Sabbath Sentinel and Bible Advocate magazine subscriptions. I have a feeling we have much in common (including walking/hiking) and I would like to dialogue with him further. Calvin’s daughter and family had moved to this area, along with another COG-7 family, and were looking for fellowship. Two lovely ladies from Fort Wayne also attended. Friends of Larry and Barb attended; some I knew from Facebook. Odd how familiar “strangers” can be, having gotten to know them somewhat on Facebook. They did not seem like strangers at all. Facebook has its drawbacks and hazards, but overall I think of it as a very useful communications tool and socialization facilitator.
Long story short.......this is getting far too long and detailed......I am very excited about the potential of this budding Sabbath fellowship. I see the hand of the LORD in it in bringing us together. We call it “The Gathering Place” for now, and we are working out the details of home meetings, Scripture/Torah readings, discussion forum, etc. Our first formal gathering is scheduled for August 7 from 4-8 pm. I plan to be there. And maybe Pat will eventually join us......and Dave and family. I can hope.
I continue to be amazed at the work the LORD has done in me of late in answer to fervent, desperate prayer. I DO need socialization and fellowship.......we all do........and I am very thankful to Rick Spurlock and his Bereans Online class (Tradition) where I learned the concept of “commandment precedence” and came to the conclusion that the command to assemble for a “holy convocation” takes precedence over stringencies such as not driving on Shabbat. All indicators seemed to be a “go” for attending this Sabbath fellowship on July 17 (including my husband’s blessing). My Durango became a rolling sanctuary as I listened to Marty Goetz’ “Hope of Glory” on the leisurely one hour drive (with a full tank of gas purchased on the Preparation day). Even a towering white “Glory cloud” appeared in the blue sky to lead me on my Sabbath day’s journey. I embarked just after 3 pm and arrived home about 11, not the least bit tired. That was another miracle.
More about the vitality regimen the LORD revealed to me in another post.
Life in YESHUA is good......and getting better!
This searching for the “swan pond” started in March 2001 when I renewed my commitment to keeping the commandments of God. I had been out of fellowship with the LORD for a time, not backslidden, but lukewarm, having been out of the antinomian churches for almost a decade and trying to maintain my faith virtually on my own. Pat and I tried to stick to a home church format at first, but with just the two of us, we became lax. Occasionally we would have friends over, but there never seemed to be a cohesiveness or like-mindedness. I was the proverbial ugly duckling, never finding a fit in all the churches we tried. We published the Moss Patch Newsletter until about 1998 and that gave us a venue to share with the scattered brethren who somewhat held our views, but the fervent embers seemed to fade with time and lack of fellowship.
By this time, Pat and I were on the road as independent contractors delivering trucks and motorhomes nationwide. It was quite a fun adventure for awhile, and we traversed and crisscrossed just about every state including a trek to Alaska......but it became too rushed, stressful, and exhausting. The ribbon of highway became a blur of bleary-eyed fatigue. Sometimes Sabbath convictions had to be compromised. I needed to get off the road after seven years of it. Pat continued for several more years, while I worked at home doing order entry for our son’s transport business.
In the Fall of 2000 I conducted an Internet search using the keyword “Sabbath” and came up with the Bible Sabbath Association. I figured anyone likeminded would also be a Sabbatarian and that would be a start for seeking fellowship. I subscribed to the Sabbath Sentinel, and from perusal of that magazine discovered there was such a thing as the Messianic movement and mindset. I discovered Daniel Botkin and Gates of Eden and read his publications, dialoguing with him via email on occasion. This led to discovering other Messianic ministries, including FFOZ. I ordered a packet of materials from that organization, learned about Torah Club, and was very excited about joining. I showed my son, who lived next door at the time, and asked him to lead the study, but his impression was that it was “too foreign.” He was not interested. Thus, in September 2001, Pat and I started Volume 1 of Torah Club on our own and completed Children’s Torah Club with the grandchildren. We went through volumes 2, 3, 4, and 5 in subsequent years. I was excited about all this Jewish/Hebraic learning. Pat was somewhat lukewarm about it but participated ....until he heard something doctrinally disturbing on an audio lesson in Volume 4 and was not satisfied with the sluggish response in addressing and correcting it. This, along with an increasingly rabbinic focus in Volume 5, which we dubbed the “ding the bell series,” caused him to jump off the Messianic bandwagon. Dave had been right.....it was “too foreign.” We were not interested in going this far with what we considered a rigid rabbinic mindset. It was interesting and insightful to learn of it, but we did not wish to embrace so stringent a level of observance as we perceived to be practiced by the leadership of this organization. We did not wish to follow in these footsteps. We wanted role models we could follow in practical terms.
In 2006, I discovered Tim Hegg and Torah Resource and signed up for a very relevant class in light of then current controversies. This led to joining Torah Resource forum. This was a most satisfying time for me as TR forum members interacted with one another and discussed the swirling controversies and made lasting friendships. One friendship in particular became almost a lifeline and brightened my lonely days. While I did not have in-person fellowship with the likeminded, at least I had “virtual fellowship” via forums, blogs, and email. But the ongoing controversies became divisive......and some could not handle the lack of unity between the major Messianic players. These were our esteemed leaders and they did not agree among themselves. Newbies became confused and upset. Some fell away, their faith shattered and shipwrecked. Some converted to Orthodox Judaism, or became Noachides. Others weathered the storms, but not without damaged emotions and confused theologies.
I was among the surviving but not thriving. I was looking for sound doctrine, wisdom, and spiritual guidance yet only able to glean nuggets here and there and move in and out of online relationships with various people of varying perspectives. I needed real live fellowship but where was I to go? Should I drive two hours by myself to meet with strangers (small home groups who maybe had a few things in common with my views)? That seemed scary. Should I attend a Messianic synagogue in Indianapolis? The website did not make me feel especially welcome as a non-Jew. Some said driving a car on Sabbath was prohibited (do not kindle a fire on the Sabbath day – Ex. 35:3) and two hours was too far regardless. I searched online for closer fellowships over the years but they seemed to disband soon after being formed, or there were other reasons for my reluctance to attend new startups. I resigned myself to online fellowship.......but even that was unstable with forums closing down, experiencing the sting and rejection of being banned at other forums, etc. Messianic friends and acquaintances continued to commit apostacide, disappoint and disillusion, or go down paths I did not wish to follow.
Eventually I was persuaded to join Facebook. Who would guess that I would meet a zealous Messianic couple with Torah convictions who many years ago were in my son’s church youth group and were inspired by him! Larry went on to study theology and counseling at Grace Theological Seminary and became a pastor. We got acquainted on Facebook through my daughter-in-law and discovered we knew some of the same people and shared similar convictions and experiences. Best of all, Barb and Larry were moving within an hour’s drive of me!
By this time, though, something held me back from meeting people in person. I had become homebound, reclusive, and non-social because of the years of isolation. I hardly left home and experienced crowd anxiety when I did. I preferred to be alone because I had grown accustomed to it. Besides, I had a virtual social life online where my friends could not see my cluttered, neglected home and self. How had I degenerated so? I was chronically fatigued with mystery ailments. It was a vicious cycle of not being able to socialize because of fatigue, anxiety, mystery ailments, nutritional/hormonal imbalances, lack of confidence, fear, whatever. What was wrong with me? I prayed about it, tried various supplements, went for long walks, exercised, but only experienced slight improvement of symptoms. Nothing was really wrong with me......except that I was dysfunctional......for whatever reasons that I could not fully fathom. I had good days and bad days. I resigned myself to believing that God wanted me isolated so I could be a prayer warrior, dialogue online, and write....although even my blog was neglected.
As I became better acquainted with Larry and Barb on Facebook, I began to feel comfortable about meeting them, especially since they offered to come to Culver and walk with me. They would meet me at my current comfort level. On the 6th of April we met for a wonderful walk and talk. I liked them both very much. I met them for other walks at Winona Lake and was very impressed with their delightful, home-schooled children. Finally, I was ready to meet them for a gathering at their home. They had invited people to come and get acquainted, possibly forming a Sabbath fellowship together. A series of circumstances had led to the desire to form this alignment with Church of God (Seventh Day) members who were also looking for a local Sabbath congregation. On July 17, COG-7 elders came from Colorado and Michigan along with potential members of this new fellowship to the Rice home near Syracuse, and I was there!!! And I felt comfortable! I felt as if I belonged with this group of people. The children were all sweet and well-behaved. These were strong families and godly, zealous individuals who shared many of my convictions. Had this misfit “swan” finally found the right pond? I was especially impressed with Calvin Burrell. I had known of him through my Sabbath Sentinel and Bible Advocate magazine subscriptions. I have a feeling we have much in common (including walking/hiking) and I would like to dialogue with him further. Calvin’s daughter and family had moved to this area, along with another COG-7 family, and were looking for fellowship. Two lovely ladies from Fort Wayne also attended. Friends of Larry and Barb attended; some I knew from Facebook. Odd how familiar “strangers” can be, having gotten to know them somewhat on Facebook. They did not seem like strangers at all. Facebook has its drawbacks and hazards, but overall I think of it as a very useful communications tool and socialization facilitator.
Long story short.......this is getting far too long and detailed......I am very excited about the potential of this budding Sabbath fellowship. I see the hand of the LORD in it in bringing us together. We call it “The Gathering Place” for now, and we are working out the details of home meetings, Scripture/Torah readings, discussion forum, etc. Our first formal gathering is scheduled for August 7 from 4-8 pm. I plan to be there. And maybe Pat will eventually join us......and Dave and family. I can hope.
I continue to be amazed at the work the LORD has done in me of late in answer to fervent, desperate prayer. I DO need socialization and fellowship.......we all do........and I am very thankful to Rick Spurlock and his Bereans Online class (Tradition) where I learned the concept of “commandment precedence” and came to the conclusion that the command to assemble for a “holy convocation” takes precedence over stringencies such as not driving on Shabbat. All indicators seemed to be a “go” for attending this Sabbath fellowship on July 17 (including my husband’s blessing). My Durango became a rolling sanctuary as I listened to Marty Goetz’ “Hope of Glory” on the leisurely one hour drive (with a full tank of gas purchased on the Preparation day). Even a towering white “Glory cloud” appeared in the blue sky to lead me on my Sabbath day’s journey. I embarked just after 3 pm and arrived home about 11, not the least bit tired. That was another miracle.
More about the vitality regimen the LORD revealed to me in another post.
Life in YESHUA is good......and getting better!
6/21/2010
Morning Musings
I need to go back to blogging. I need to write......but it seems I have been doing much more reading than writing lately and cannot yet put into words the thoughts that are swirling......mostly concerning Israel and the present danger. I identify with Israel. Having been grafted in to the Commonwealth of Israel, these are my people. Yeshua's people. His people are my people. I find I have more allegiance to Israel than I do to America. If America turns her back on Israel, I'm with Israel. Hopefully the ties between the two countries will remain strong.
The voyage of the "Mariam" flotilla (named after the "Virgin Mary" and prayed for at her statue) has been given the green light by Lebanon to leave Tripoli to try to break the Israeli naval blockade on Gaza. This, even after Israel has bowed to pressures and liberalized the land blockade to allow more goods in. What will happen in coming days? Very worrisome.
Besides my fixation on Israel, I have become interested in reading Abraham Joshua Heschel. I wonder why I never heard of him until recently. I am reading God in Search of Man and so far I really enjoy his writing style and profound thoughts. Here is a sample:
Yesterday I enjoyed sitting out on the lounge chair by the garden getting some sun and reading Heschel and Karsh (Palestine Betrayed). I am also very interested in learning more about the history of the Arab/Israeli conflict. It was interesting to read that there was a time when Jews and Arabs coexisted peacefully. It all could have turned out so differently. This book seeks to document where the blame lies for the current hostilities. Very compelling read. How did I get interested in history I wonder. Never liked it in school. Now I am fascinated with it. I want to visit historical museums. I hope to visit the museum in Culver that holds the history of the Academies. Wish I had an escort who shared my interests. Oh well, I like being alone most of the time. I just need to get braver about venturing out and about by myself and not fret about having no likeminded friends able to join me.
I want to hike various trails in the area. May have to do that alone as well. Others do it, why not me.
I need to get going on my day. I work for Dave today, and I need to go to Hamlet this morning. Wonder what else I will accomplish. My window of opportunity is narrower than I would like; my strength dissipates after a couple of hours of exertion usually. Very frustrating. Somehow I need to find "the cure" for this debilitating fatigue that comes and goes so mysteriously.
At least I was able to write something this morning.
The voyage of the "Mariam" flotilla (named after the "Virgin Mary" and prayed for at her statue) has been given the green light by Lebanon to leave Tripoli to try to break the Israeli naval blockade on Gaza. This, even after Israel has bowed to pressures and liberalized the land blockade to allow more goods in. What will happen in coming days? Very worrisome.
Besides my fixation on Israel, I have become interested in reading Abraham Joshua Heschel. I wonder why I never heard of him until recently. I am reading God in Search of Man and so far I really enjoy his writing style and profound thoughts. Here is a sample:
When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when the crisis of today is ignored because of the splendor of the past; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion--its message becomes meaningless.
Yesterday I enjoyed sitting out on the lounge chair by the garden getting some sun and reading Heschel and Karsh (Palestine Betrayed). I am also very interested in learning more about the history of the Arab/Israeli conflict. It was interesting to read that there was a time when Jews and Arabs coexisted peacefully. It all could have turned out so differently. This book seeks to document where the blame lies for the current hostilities. Very compelling read. How did I get interested in history I wonder. Never liked it in school. Now I am fascinated with it. I want to visit historical museums. I hope to visit the museum in Culver that holds the history of the Academies. Wish I had an escort who shared my interests. Oh well, I like being alone most of the time. I just need to get braver about venturing out and about by myself and not fret about having no likeminded friends able to join me.
I want to hike various trails in the area. May have to do that alone as well. Others do it, why not me.
I need to get going on my day. I work for Dave today, and I need to go to Hamlet this morning. Wonder what else I will accomplish. My window of opportunity is narrower than I would like; my strength dissipates after a couple of hours of exertion usually. Very frustrating. Somehow I need to find "the cure" for this debilitating fatigue that comes and goes so mysteriously.
At least I was able to write something this morning.
6/20/2010
Weathering the Approaching Storm
By Caroline Glick
Israel is endangered today as it has never been before. The Turkish-Hamas flotilla two weeks ago precipitated a number of dangerous developments. Rather than attend to all of them, Israel's leadership is devoting itself almost exclusively to contending with the least dangerous among them while ignoring the emerging threats with the potential to lead us to great calamities.
Since the Navy's lethal takeover of the Mavi Marmara, Israel has been stood before an international diplomatic firing squad led by the UN and Europe and supported by the Obama administration. Firmly backed by European and largely unopposed by Washington, the UN is moving swiftly towards setting up a new Goldstone-style anti-Israel kangaroo court. That canned tribunal will rule that Israel has no right to defend itself and attempt to force Israel to end its lawful naval blockade of Hamas-controlled Gaza.
Fearing this outcome, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu bowed to US President Barack Obama's demand that Israel set up an Israeli inquest of the Mavi Marmara takeover and permit foreigners to oversee its proceedings. Netanyahu also agreed to scale-back Israel's blockade significantly, and allow international bodies to have a role in its far more lax enforcement. Netanyahu has made these concessions with the full knowledge that they will strengthen Hamas in the hopes that they would weaken the international onslaught against Israel.
Unfortunately, it took no time at all to see that his hopes were misplaced. Even before Netanyahu announced these concessions, UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon already announced that they make no difference to him or to his friends in Washington and Brussels. They will move ahead with their plans to appoint a new kangaroo court charged with asserting that Israel has no right to defend itself.
AS BAD as all of this is, in truth, it is unimportant relative to the other consequences of the flotilla incident. The impact of the diplomatic campaign now being waged against Israel will be felt in the medium and long term. In the immediate term, Israel is facing two threats that dwarf what it faces from the UN.
Recent statements by the leaders of Iran, Turkey, Syria, Hamas and Hizbullah make clear that the members of the Iranian axis view the Mavi Marmara episode as a strategic victory in their ongoing campaign against Israel. The international stampede against Israel at the UN, the White House and throughout Europe exposed Israel's Achilles heel. The Mavi Marmara demonstrated that on the one hand the IDF cannot enforce its blockade of Gaza without the use of force. On the other hands it taught Israel's enemies that by forcing Israel to use force, Iran, Turkey and their allies incited a UN-EU-US lynch mob against Israel.
Iran, Turkey, Syria, Hamas and Hizbullah are moving rapidly to exploit their new discovery. In the very near future, Israel will face off against Iranian, Lebanese, and Turkish ships complemented by ships full of Israel-hating German Jews and other Jewish and non-Jewish Hamas supporters.
The Mavi Marmara showed Iran and its allies hat they can win strategic victories against Israel by giving the IDF no option other than using force against them. This means that Israel can bank on the prospect that all the ships they are dispatching will be populated by suicide protesters. Indeed the Iranians have openly admitted this. Mohammad Ali Nouraee is one of the regime officials involved in dispatching the Iranian ships to the Gaza coast. In an interview this week with Iran's official IRNA news agency Nouraee said that the passengers aboard the ships, "are willing to become martyred in this way."
The Lebanese ships are being organized by Hizbullah-affiliated individuals and the Turkish ships are being organized by the IHH terror group that organized the Mavi Marmara. Hizbullah's penchant for dispatching suicide squads is of course well known. And the IHH showed its devotion to suicide protests on the Mavi Marmara. So it is fairly clear that the passengers aboard the ships from both countries intend to force the IDF to kill them.
The intensification of the suicide protest campaign against Israel is dangerous for two reasons. First, it is a model that can be and in all likelihood will be replicated on air and land and it can be replicated anywhere. Israel can and should expect mobs of suicide protesters marching on Gaza to force Israel to surrender control over its borders. Israel can expect mobs of suicide protesters marching on Israeli embassies and other government installations around the world in an attempt to increase its diplomatic isolations.
In the air, Israel can expect charter flights to take off from airports around the world with a few dozen kamikaze protesters who will force the IAF to shoot them down as they approach Israeli airspace.
Iran and its allies have found a weak chink in Israel's armor. They will use it any way they can. Israel needs to quickly develop tactics and strategies for contending with this.
THE SECOND and far more dangerous implication of Israel's enemies' aggressive adoption of suicide protests is that by ensuring violence will be used, they increase the chances of war. Indeed, Iran and its allies clearly believe that suicide protests are a vehicle for initiating a full-scale war against Israel on what they view as favorable footing. According to Bahrain's al Wasat press service, Hussain Amir, Iran's ambassador to Bahrain threatened this week that, "If the [Zionist] entity dares to direct any aggressive attack [against the Iranian ships] then it is certain that [Israel] will be met by a much stronger and firm blow."
Syrian President Bashar Assad told the BBC Wednesday that the region is moving towards war. And the Turkish government is continuing to escalate its assaults on Israel. On Thursday Turkey threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with Israel if Israel does not issue a formal apology for its takeover of the Mavi Marmara and pay restitution to the families of the terrorists killed on board the ship.
Obviously the most disturbing aspect of the war threats is the specter of Turkish naval vessels attacking the Israeli navy. If Turkey - a NATO member -- participates in a war against Israel, the repercussions for Israel's relations with NATO member states, including the US, as well as the EU are liable to be unprecedented.
While going to war against Israel would be a major gamble for Turkey, in recent years it has not shied away from high stakes challenges to its NATO allies. Indeed, one of Turkey's ruling AKP party's first actions upon taking power in 2003 was to deny the US military the right to invade Iraq from its territory. The deleterious impact of Turkey's refusal to come to the aid of its NATO ally at the time has been felt by US forces in Iraq ever since.
IN THE days and weeks to come, Israel's political and military leaders must move resolutely to prepare to withstand these new threats that arisen in the aftermath of the Mavi Marmara episode. To meet the expected deluge of suicide protesters on sea, land and air, Israel must immediately acquire non-lethal means to disperse these protests. This involves purchasing and producing tear gas, water cannons, rubber bullets and other non-lethal weaponry. These non-lethal weapons must be rapidly distributed to IDF units deployed along the frontier with Gaza and to the Navy. They must also be supplied to Israeli security teams tasked with protecting government installations worldwide. Forces must undergo intense and immediate training in crowd control and mob dispersal to be ready to meet what is clearly on the way.
Diplomatically, Israel needs to hold its new line on the Gaza blockade. Netanyahu's buckling to US-EU-UN pressure has encouraged them to redouble their assault on Israel. The new line must be held at all costs. Otherwise, Israel will have no diplomatic line of defense as the approaching threats become reality.
Strategically, our leaders need to consider what our aims will be in the coming war. For instance, as far as Turkey is concerned, Israel's aim will be to end the war as quickly as possible. Here the tools of diplomacy with NATO members and public diplomacy with the American people will be crucial to convincing Turkey to stand down. They must be aggressively and energetically utilized without delay.
From a military perspective, evasion is preferable to confrontation. This understanding must guide naval operations towards Turkish forces.
As for Iran, Israel's aim must be to prolong the war as long as necessary to secure its strategic objective of denying Iran nuclear weapons. Moreover, it is important to use both kinetic and non-kinetic means to change the relative power balance between the Iranian people and the Iranian regime. While in all likelihood today the Iranian opposition green movement is unable to overthrow the regime, if Iran initiates a war against Israel, Israel must use the opportunity the war affords to change that balance of power.
Once Israel's political and military leaders determine the strategic goals of a regional war, they must move swiftly to outfit and train the IDF to fight it. This war will certainly be different from its predecessors and Israel's strategic goals - and the clear strategic and tactical preferences of its enemies - dictate the training that the IDF must initiate immediately.
The longer term lesson of the Mavi Marmara incident, and the threats that emerged in its wake is that war is too serious a subject to leave to generals. The IDF and the Defense Ministry clearly misunderstood the nature of the threat posed by the Turkish-Hamas flotilla. Indeed, recent reports that until the Mavi Marmara Israel wasn't even collecting intelligence on Turkey despite its obvious, multiyear transformation from ally to enemy underlines the fact that the IDF is woefully incapable of assessing, understanding and preparing for the threats Israel faces.
In light of the IDF's failure to understand Turkey's transformation from ally to enemy in a timely manner, its incompetent planning for the takeover and its problematic performance in both Operation Cast Lead and the Second Lebanon War, Netanyahu must create an external body empowered to assess and dictate the means for preparing for emerging threats. This body can either be a new department in the Prime Minister's Bureau or the National Security Council can be empowered to perform this function. While this is not the most urgent matter on the national agenda, the establishment of such a body should be a central mission of the government.
The Iranian ships are already en route, and the ships from Lebanon could appear at any moment. The mass demonstrations against Israel throughout the world and the threatened violence from the Hamas-supporting Israeli Arab leadership indicate that mobs of suicide protesters could appear anywhere with no prior warning.
Time is of the essence. No, Israel does not want another Goldstone kangaroo court. But right now, kangaroo courts are not our biggest problem.
Originally published in The Jerusalem Post.
Posted on June 18, 2010 at 6:41 AM
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.carolineglick.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/ipractic/managed-mt-dev/mt-tb.cgi/14434
Israel is endangered today as it has never been before. The Turkish-Hamas flotilla two weeks ago precipitated a number of dangerous developments. Rather than attend to all of them, Israel's leadership is devoting itself almost exclusively to contending with the least dangerous among them while ignoring the emerging threats with the potential to lead us to great calamities.
Since the Navy's lethal takeover of the Mavi Marmara, Israel has been stood before an international diplomatic firing squad led by the UN and Europe and supported by the Obama administration. Firmly backed by European and largely unopposed by Washington, the UN is moving swiftly towards setting up a new Goldstone-style anti-Israel kangaroo court. That canned tribunal will rule that Israel has no right to defend itself and attempt to force Israel to end its lawful naval blockade of Hamas-controlled Gaza.
Fearing this outcome, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu bowed to US President Barack Obama's demand that Israel set up an Israeli inquest of the Mavi Marmara takeover and permit foreigners to oversee its proceedings. Netanyahu also agreed to scale-back Israel's blockade significantly, and allow international bodies to have a role in its far more lax enforcement. Netanyahu has made these concessions with the full knowledge that they will strengthen Hamas in the hopes that they would weaken the international onslaught against Israel.
Unfortunately, it took no time at all to see that his hopes were misplaced. Even before Netanyahu announced these concessions, UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon already announced that they make no difference to him or to his friends in Washington and Brussels. They will move ahead with their plans to appoint a new kangaroo court charged with asserting that Israel has no right to defend itself.
AS BAD as all of this is, in truth, it is unimportant relative to the other consequences of the flotilla incident. The impact of the diplomatic campaign now being waged against Israel will be felt in the medium and long term. In the immediate term, Israel is facing two threats that dwarf what it faces from the UN.
Recent statements by the leaders of Iran, Turkey, Syria, Hamas and Hizbullah make clear that the members of the Iranian axis view the Mavi Marmara episode as a strategic victory in their ongoing campaign against Israel. The international stampede against Israel at the UN, the White House and throughout Europe exposed Israel's Achilles heel. The Mavi Marmara demonstrated that on the one hand the IDF cannot enforce its blockade of Gaza without the use of force. On the other hands it taught Israel's enemies that by forcing Israel to use force, Iran, Turkey and their allies incited a UN-EU-US lynch mob against Israel.
Iran, Turkey, Syria, Hamas and Hizbullah are moving rapidly to exploit their new discovery. In the very near future, Israel will face off against Iranian, Lebanese, and Turkish ships complemented by ships full of Israel-hating German Jews and other Jewish and non-Jewish Hamas supporters.
The Mavi Marmara showed Iran and its allies hat they can win strategic victories against Israel by giving the IDF no option other than using force against them. This means that Israel can bank on the prospect that all the ships they are dispatching will be populated by suicide protesters. Indeed the Iranians have openly admitted this. Mohammad Ali Nouraee is one of the regime officials involved in dispatching the Iranian ships to the Gaza coast. In an interview this week with Iran's official IRNA news agency Nouraee said that the passengers aboard the ships, "are willing to become martyred in this way."
The Lebanese ships are being organized by Hizbullah-affiliated individuals and the Turkish ships are being organized by the IHH terror group that organized the Mavi Marmara. Hizbullah's penchant for dispatching suicide squads is of course well known. And the IHH showed its devotion to suicide protests on the Mavi Marmara. So it is fairly clear that the passengers aboard the ships from both countries intend to force the IDF to kill them.
The intensification of the suicide protest campaign against Israel is dangerous for two reasons. First, it is a model that can be and in all likelihood will be replicated on air and land and it can be replicated anywhere. Israel can and should expect mobs of suicide protesters marching on Gaza to force Israel to surrender control over its borders. Israel can expect mobs of suicide protesters marching on Israeli embassies and other government installations around the world in an attempt to increase its diplomatic isolations.
In the air, Israel can expect charter flights to take off from airports around the world with a few dozen kamikaze protesters who will force the IAF to shoot them down as they approach Israeli airspace.
Iran and its allies have found a weak chink in Israel's armor. They will use it any way they can. Israel needs to quickly develop tactics and strategies for contending with this.
THE SECOND and far more dangerous implication of Israel's enemies' aggressive adoption of suicide protests is that by ensuring violence will be used, they increase the chances of war. Indeed, Iran and its allies clearly believe that suicide protests are a vehicle for initiating a full-scale war against Israel on what they view as favorable footing. According to Bahrain's al Wasat press service, Hussain Amir, Iran's ambassador to Bahrain threatened this week that, "If the [Zionist] entity dares to direct any aggressive attack [against the Iranian ships] then it is certain that [Israel] will be met by a much stronger and firm blow."
Syrian President Bashar Assad told the BBC Wednesday that the region is moving towards war. And the Turkish government is continuing to escalate its assaults on Israel. On Thursday Turkey threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with Israel if Israel does not issue a formal apology for its takeover of the Mavi Marmara and pay restitution to the families of the terrorists killed on board the ship.
Obviously the most disturbing aspect of the war threats is the specter of Turkish naval vessels attacking the Israeli navy. If Turkey - a NATO member -- participates in a war against Israel, the repercussions for Israel's relations with NATO member states, including the US, as well as the EU are liable to be unprecedented.
While going to war against Israel would be a major gamble for Turkey, in recent years it has not shied away from high stakes challenges to its NATO allies. Indeed, one of Turkey's ruling AKP party's first actions upon taking power in 2003 was to deny the US military the right to invade Iraq from its territory. The deleterious impact of Turkey's refusal to come to the aid of its NATO ally at the time has been felt by US forces in Iraq ever since.
IN THE days and weeks to come, Israel's political and military leaders must move resolutely to prepare to withstand these new threats that arisen in the aftermath of the Mavi Marmara episode. To meet the expected deluge of suicide protesters on sea, land and air, Israel must immediately acquire non-lethal means to disperse these protests. This involves purchasing and producing tear gas, water cannons, rubber bullets and other non-lethal weaponry. These non-lethal weapons must be rapidly distributed to IDF units deployed along the frontier with Gaza and to the Navy. They must also be supplied to Israeli security teams tasked with protecting government installations worldwide. Forces must undergo intense and immediate training in crowd control and mob dispersal to be ready to meet what is clearly on the way.
Diplomatically, Israel needs to hold its new line on the Gaza blockade. Netanyahu's buckling to US-EU-UN pressure has encouraged them to redouble their assault on Israel. The new line must be held at all costs. Otherwise, Israel will have no diplomatic line of defense as the approaching threats become reality.
Strategically, our leaders need to consider what our aims will be in the coming war. For instance, as far as Turkey is concerned, Israel's aim will be to end the war as quickly as possible. Here the tools of diplomacy with NATO members and public diplomacy with the American people will be crucial to convincing Turkey to stand down. They must be aggressively and energetically utilized without delay.
From a military perspective, evasion is preferable to confrontation. This understanding must guide naval operations towards Turkish forces.
As for Iran, Israel's aim must be to prolong the war as long as necessary to secure its strategic objective of denying Iran nuclear weapons. Moreover, it is important to use both kinetic and non-kinetic means to change the relative power balance between the Iranian people and the Iranian regime. While in all likelihood today the Iranian opposition green movement is unable to overthrow the regime, if Iran initiates a war against Israel, Israel must use the opportunity the war affords to change that balance of power.
Once Israel's political and military leaders determine the strategic goals of a regional war, they must move swiftly to outfit and train the IDF to fight it. This war will certainly be different from its predecessors and Israel's strategic goals - and the clear strategic and tactical preferences of its enemies - dictate the training that the IDF must initiate immediately.
The longer term lesson of the Mavi Marmara incident, and the threats that emerged in its wake is that war is too serious a subject to leave to generals. The IDF and the Defense Ministry clearly misunderstood the nature of the threat posed by the Turkish-Hamas flotilla. Indeed, recent reports that until the Mavi Marmara Israel wasn't even collecting intelligence on Turkey despite its obvious, multiyear transformation from ally to enemy underlines the fact that the IDF is woefully incapable of assessing, understanding and preparing for the threats Israel faces.
In light of the IDF's failure to understand Turkey's transformation from ally to enemy in a timely manner, its incompetent planning for the takeover and its problematic performance in both Operation Cast Lead and the Second Lebanon War, Netanyahu must create an external body empowered to assess and dictate the means for preparing for emerging threats. This body can either be a new department in the Prime Minister's Bureau or the National Security Council can be empowered to perform this function. While this is not the most urgent matter on the national agenda, the establishment of such a body should be a central mission of the government.
The Iranian ships are already en route, and the ships from Lebanon could appear at any moment. The mass demonstrations against Israel throughout the world and the threatened violence from the Hamas-supporting Israeli Arab leadership indicate that mobs of suicide protesters could appear anywhere with no prior warning.
Time is of the essence. No, Israel does not want another Goldstone kangaroo court. But right now, kangaroo courts are not our biggest problem.
Originally published in The Jerusalem Post.
Posted on June 18, 2010 at 6:41 AM
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.carolineglick.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/ipractic/managed-mt-dev/mt-tb.cgi/14434
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