I'm still struggling with "overcoming aversion", thus the long delay in blogging my life and thoughts. Here it is the last day of 2014, and I never finished the draft blog post I started on the Jewish New Year! So many "new beginnings" with these various calendars. I believe the beginning of the year, Biblically and naturally, is in the Spring, the first of Aviv. But I acknowledge the Academic new year in August, the Jewish new year at Yom Teruah, and the Secular new year on January 1. Today is my last opportunity in 2014 to update this blog and I'm determined to do it. I will include the unfinished draft post from months ago, make some remarks concerning those remarks and then fill in my activities for October thru December. I'm back at my old 2005 Mac Mini desktop computer where I am most comfortable typing on the Kensington keyboard. All my old Apple computers just keep on working, though outdated. I have an iPad Mini now, but it annoys me. The entire Internet world annoys me these days, but that's a topic for another day......
Written 9/25/14:
Today is Rosh haShanah/Yom Teruah 2014/5775 and I am happy and doing well. Something has changed since my last post. Once again the LORD has rescued me from the brambles and thicket and set me back on the Path of Life, leading the way. I am ecstatic and energized. I'm sure it has something to do with the email I received from "Shoshana" who somehow stumbled upon my blog and sent me a word of encouragement, inviting me to try Sar Shalom synagogue online. I checked it out and was favorably impressed. I realized I had encountered this website in the past and liked it. At the time, the congregation was talking about moving to a town called Argyle. When my daughter used the word "argyle" in a conversation, I took it as a sign from the LORD. And, oddly enough, of all the myriad online messianic websites, this one was very close to where my daughter lives in Flower Mound, Texas. It would be possible that I could visit her and attend this synagogue someday. For some reason I did not pursue this path in the past (was it this past Spring?) and so the LORD sent another witness to invite me. I discovered that this woman lived in Celina, TX and operated a bed and breakfast. Here was another possibility. I could meet her and stay there sometime on a trip to Texas to visit my daughter and granddaughter. As I pondered these possibilities and sought the LORD about it, behold, a truck was parked at the Culver loading dock with "Celina" emblazoned on its side! Another coincidence? Or is this how the LORD directs my path.
I was very cautious about getting excited about another Messianic congregation. So many disappointments over the years. So many groups that I just did not fit in with for one reason or another. I had just about given up hope of ever finding anything compatible. But I did not like my current situation of being in limbo and having no fellowship or congregation to attach myself to at some level. I was "withering on the vine" for lack of fellowship and intellectual/spiritual stimulation.
I watched some archived services and a couple of live ones in the past few weeks and could not find anything wrong with them. These people seemed to be likeminded in many ways. I liked the Rabbi and the musicians and the congregation. I discovered that the rabbi was no novice, having been Messianic longer than me, about 20 years. Why had I never heard of him? This is an observant Jewish congregation fully centered on Yeshua. I could learn a lot here. I was familiar with some of the Hebrew prayers due to my participation at the "Synagogue by the Sea" at Culver.
Switching gears, the second reason for my renewed joy and enthusiasm relates to running. I ran my first Trail Race on September 20. It was called "Mash the Creek" and it was held at Potato Creek State Park on the hiking trails. I absolutely loved it. I have found my niche. I like dirt and roots and rocks under my feet rather than pavement. A couple of my coworkers from Culver ran it with me, and the camaraderie was wonderful. They loved it too. I hope to run other races with them and their friends. I did better than expected. My hope was to not come in last. Not only did I meet that goal, but I was 42nd out of 69 and won my age division, receiving a beautiful gold medal! (There was only one other woman in my category who came in 20 seconds after me; it pays to be old...not very many women my age are still running.) I am hooked. I want to do this again. There is a trail race at France Park on October 11 but the trail is narrow and possibly treacherous in places. So I'm going there today to check it out first while communing with the LORD on this beautiful festival day. I'll catch the Sar Shalom service later today in the archives and hear the sound of the Shofar. I listened last night to the Erev service. I plan to do the tashlich ceremony with pebbles representing sins cast into the depth of the sea (quarry). Today's Bible reading included Micah 7:18-19 which I took as confirmation.
-------------------------------
END OF DRAFT
UPDATE: 12/31/14......
Concerning Sar Shalom, I am not quite as enthused as I was initially and some red flags have been raised in my mind. I need to write to the Rabbi and express my concerns and give him some feedback. It is difficult for me to watch the services on Livestream, as it does not stream well on my old laptop or on the iPad. I need to get a new MacBook. I was hoping the iPad would be enough, but it has limitations. It's great to bring to work though for email and light use. It's also great for listening to itunes radio and podcasts. I"m still somewhat adrift spiritually, disillusioned with the Messianic world and its cast of characters. My heros have turned to villains, and I don't know where to go from here.
I found a great little book for learning Hebrew called "Teach Yourself to Read Hebrew" (Simon and Anderson) and have been enjoying reviewing what I learned in the past the hard way with this easy to absorb beginner book. Wish I had known about this resource when I struggled through other books. It is hard for me to process information these days. I can only handle a few minutes of reading and studying at a time.
Running truly has become a lifeline for me. This is one thing I can do. All I need is shoes on my feet and appropriate clothing for the weather. It is something I can do most any day of the year. I may just run a mile, or if it is nice weather and I have time, I can run/hike 3 or 4 miles or more. I did the France Park DINO series 5K trail race and absolutely loved it. I drove there by myself and didn't know anyone, but everyone was friendly and encouraging. I got to stand on a pedestal at the award ceremony with my 1st place medal for my gender/age division. It helps when there is no competition since few women my age run these races. My time was 39:35.2 (58th out of 69 participants). There were lots of roots and rocks to watch out for on the narrow trails and I walked when I needed to walk. I'm doing this for my health and enjoyment, not for competition. As long as there are walkers in these races, I need not fear I'll be dead last. Actually there were quite a few runners that came in after me, several much younger than me. I prefer trail races to road races. I like dirt under my feet, the challenge of varied terrain, and I love the scenery.
I ran another race November 1 at TalTree Arboretum in Valparaiso. This was a 10K trail race. That was fun too, although there was lots of mud and it was quite cold that day. I got another beautiful medal for my gender/age division (no competition) and Pat was there to cheer me on. My time was 1:18:44.8 (12:42/M), 74th overall out of 86 participants. My next race is January 10 at the same place, this time a 5K. I wonder what kind of weather we'll have. I'm ready to run in my boots and ski jacket if need be. Running trail races is pure joy for me. Running keeps me healthy. I am literally running away from old age, disability, and disease.
[My stats for the Mash the Creek 5.5K Trail Race: 40:33/11:52]
Another joy for me recently was finding the perfect saddle for riding Misty. It's an extra wide Big Horn western saddle, nice supple leather, comfortable, and it fits my horse. What a huge difference this makes in riding enjoyment! I found it online at The Saddle Shop, Bremen, for $575 (used but well cared for) and went there to pick it up in November. I finally got a chance to ride Misty the other day and what a delight to discover I can mount from the ground without the saddle slipping. I feel like I'm riding my horse not an ill fitting uncomfortable saddle. This is much safer for me than riding bareback, which is what I resorted to most of the time in the past. I hope to do much more riding and enjoying horses in 2015.
I have been home on winter break since December 24, a much needed break. I managed to do some de-cluttering in several rooms thankfully. I go back to work Friday. I still love my job but sometimes it overtires me by the end of the day. It is hard work. There is an opening in Administrative Services I could apply for and maybe get, but I don't want to sit at a desk all day either. I wish I could do both...half a day in my dorm, and half in an office. Ideally I wish I could work part time or at least fewer hours.
Austin spent his Fall break here, and we went for an enjoyable bike ride at Potato Creek State Park. Denise and Lexi came at Thanksgiving break. It was good to see them, but the weather was extremely cold and not conducive to hiking/running. They enjoyed a day of skiing in Michigan though, so I am glad that worked out for them.
Danielle and Dave accompanied me on a hike at Potato Creek in October. I'm hoping they will join me for some of these upcoming trail races in 2015. There is a DINO trail race at Potato Creek on June 20 that I'm hoping friends and family will do with me. Maybe even Pat will join in the fun. His feet are feeling better and he walked two miles at Tippecanoe River State Park recently on a hike/run with me. He also walked at newly discovered Starke County Forest the other day, where we saw one large white swan. My sign. I'm right where I belong.
12/31/2014
9/06/2014
Overcoming Aversion
To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the Tree of Life which is in the midst of the Paradise of God. (Revelation 2:7)
It has been many months since I have updated this blog. I seem to have developed an aversion to blogging/writing and I don't know why. I used to love to write and journal my experiences, thoughts, and ponderings. What happened?
Today at breakfast I thought about using almond milk for my cereal but suddenly had a strong aversion to opening up the new container, even though I like almond milk. It occurred to me that this feeling of "aversion" happens quite often in various contexts, such as when I plan to do some housework, or go somewhere, or do something I normally enjoy such as working with my horses. The "aversion syndrome" usually prevents me from doing what I should be doing. I hate the "dread" feeling I get, but then I often feel like I cheated myself out of a blessing and I feel defeated. It occurred to me that maybe this was satanic interference and that I should overcome it. Yeshua's words came to mind about the importance of being an overcomer. So I got real brave and opened the carton of almond milk and poured it on my cereal. Ha, it wasn't that hard after all. I enjoyed my breakfast and jotted down some notes in my notebook about other aversions in my life and how I needed to overcome them. If I could pour the almond milk, could I blog?
It is a quiet Sabbath at home. Pat went fishing/canoeing with friends and I have the house to myself for a welcome change. No TV blaring, no distractions, a perfect opportunity to write. Only problem is I have no idea what to write about. I don't seem to have any passion or enthusiasm these days, for anything, or anyone. I'm not depressed, but maybe a bit bored with my life. Everything is going fine. I have no complaints. Well, maybe one. I wish I had more energy/vitality. I am grateful that I can get through my 40 hour workweek, enjoy running, walking, paddleboarding, hiking, socializing, etc. Yet most days I run out of steam by 3 or 4 pm and I'm in bed for the night at 6 pm totally exhausted. I wish I could get some things done after work, play with my horses, read a book, do some housework....but my eyes won't stay open and I find I cannot take another step. Is this normal for people my age? I realize I may have some internal issues going on, but I feel well other than the debilitating chronic fatigue. I have not taken so much as a tylenol in two years. I avoid toxicity, including foods that are toxic to me, stressful situations and people, and this has resulted in good health overall. I have a good energy level much of the day until "the crash" comes in the afternoon. When I'm done, I'm done. It happens less frequently than it used to, but it still hinders my productivity and pleasure.
I am training for an upcoming 5.5K trail race, Mash the Creek, at Potato Creek State Park on September 20 and am looking forward to this event. I hope I can run it in 40 minutes or less and not come in last. Running has become a lifeline for me, a mood enhancer. If I don't run, I get depressed and negative. I try to run at least a mile most days, or if it's too hot to run, I walk a few miles. I lead a Walk Class at work, touring the campus and environs. More often than not, though, nobody shows up. Many would like to do this, but few can find the time. The same with the other classes our Wellness Dept. offers at noon. At the next Wellness Committee meeting, I may bring up the need to address the time constraints on faculty/staff. One teacher liked my suggestion that we all get Friday afternoon off so we can play.
There is a Canoe Class on Fridays at noon that I wanted to do yesterday, but the wind picked up and the lake was too choppy. In May, Pat and I enjoyed a canoe outing on the Tippecanoe River with Dana and a group from Culver. I hope to do that again sometime with family and friends. I had not realized how beautiful the Tippecanoe River scenery is, and so close to home.
In April, May, and June I hiked at Turkey Run State Park. I finally conquered the challenging Trail 3 on my third attempt, along with Denise, Danielle, Austin, and Lexi. Afterwards we enjoyed kayaking/canoeing on Sugar Creek. A memorable time. Pat came with me in April and we paddled a canoe on a perfect day. I hiked alone that time, but couldn't make it up the slippery waterfall rocks. The first time, in April (or was it late March?), I stayed at the cabin by myself and hiked for two days. A mini vacation that I thoroughly enjoyed. There was still snow and ice on the treacherous trails and I found myself scared to death on an icy ledge. Quite an adventure for me.
I also enjoy hiking and running at Potato Creek State Park. Pat came once and we rented kayaks. I enjoy hiking alone most of the time, but it was nice to hike with Denise there last winter. We also hiked at Tippecanoe River State Park. We ran a race together in Culver last November as well. Good times. I wish I had blogged these experiences.
I haven't done much paddleboarding this summer. Dave seems to have lost interest, though we had a couple of short outings together. Denise, Austin, Lexi, and Danielle got to try it in June. Denise and I watched the Lake Max Challenge together. I enjoyed a nice paddle to the town beach and back the other day under near perfect conditions now that the summer boat traffic is gone and the water is calm and clear more often. There were not many days of calm water this summer.
Austin and Kyle are both college students this Fall, Austin at Purdue and Kyle at Vincennes. Where has the time gone?
The Gaza War this summer put the final nail in the coffin of my on again/off again friendship with Peter. Israel's enemies cannot be my friends.
The world situation is very perilous. ISIS is beheading journalists. Islamic wars, atrocities, and terrorism are everywhere it seems. An Islamic Caliphate might be the End Time Beast Kingdom prophesied in Scripture.
I am somewhat adrift spiritually these days, not knowing where to fellowship, even online. Not sure what is going on. I do like Rabbi Jonathan Sacks. I also listen to Chaim Richman (Temple Talk) and Tamar Yonah (Israel National Radio).
I just got an Ipad Mini Retina. I hope to find some new avenues of information/learning/music with the App Store and Kindle reading app. I don't enjoy facebook anymore. I really want to learn Hebrew. I like listening to Hebrew music (Yaakov Shweckey, Yonatan Razel, Mordecai ben David, Baruch Levine).
I hope to get to Potato Creek State Park for a run and hike and to watch the sunset over the lake this evening. The weather is cool for a change. It would be a nice way to end this Shabbat. If only I can overcome the aversion/fatigue that I suspect will attempt to dissuade me. I must remember to recite the verses on the importance of being an overcomer!
Update: I managed to run a mile in my woods but I did not feel up to a trip to Potato Creek today. It was all I could do to overcome my aversion to doing anything. I think I may be fighting a virus or something. But I felt good about at least running a mile. It is amazing how so little does so much for me. And now I'm going to overcome my aversion to blogging, by publishing this poorly written piece. At least I tried.
2/16/2014
In Six Days......
Written on Sabbath 2/15/14
9 am
Today's torah portion (Ki Tissa) includes these verses in Exodus 31:12-18
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily My sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between Me and you throughout your generations: that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you. Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Wherefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant. It is a sign between Me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day He rested, and was refreshed. And He gave unto Moses, when He had made an end of communing with him on Mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.
I'm feeling very much alone in my convictions these days. I don't have anyone in my circle of friends/family who regularly communicate with me who believes in Six Day Creationism and proves it by keeping the Sabbath day holy. It is troubling to learn that my grandchildren have been swayed to the Evolution camp. It is troubling that my friend who now calls himself a brother still does not believe in Six Day, Young Earth Creationism, but believes in a novel interpretation of Genesis 1 expounded by John Walton and others. He also has not found it possible in his life situation to keep Shabbat. It is troubling that ffoz gives him cover for trampling the Sabbath with its "Optional for Gentiles" Sabbath stance. Sometimes I feel like forsaking facebook altogether; it is such a grief. It has become easy to eschew it on Shabbat. I don't miss it at all; a welcome respite.
I have been listening to Yair Davidiy via youtube lately concerning the Lost Tribes. I heard of him years ago through Chris Josephson (Bible Light) and wanted to read The Tribes, but it was out of print at the time. My interest in this topic is renewed, so I may read this book and study the topic more in depth. I also heard this week about a legendary river called Sambatiyon that is rather fascinating. Both Yair Davidiy and a Rabbi named Eliyahu Kin talked about it from different perspectives on their youtube channels. I have been convinced for many years that I am an Israelite, and consider myself Jewish in my affiliation. It is a lonely journey for this "ugly duckling", and I have yet to land in a welcoming Hebraic "swan pond."
I have become interested in bird watching lately. We filled our feeders and attracted chickadees, sparrows, red headed woodpeckers, blue jays, cardinals, tufted titmouse (titmice?) so far. The goldfinches have not yet returned to the niger seed feeder at my kitchen window.
Last Sunday I drove to Potato Creek State Park and traversed Trail 4 on my snowshoes. It was very quiet and serene in the woods. I was not cold unless I stopped moving. I wore snow pants so I did not get snow in my boots. The trail had been blazed by others so it was not too taxing. It was a good workout though. It took me an hour and a half to make the two and a half mile circuit. I saw two other snowshoers and encountered one young male hiker in boots who said hello. People on trails are very helpful and friendly in my experience so far. One older snowshoer guy struck up a conversation with me as he rested on a park bench on the trail and gave me some snowshoeing tips. He planned to be out on the trails until sunset, including Vargo Hill. My Trail 4 trek was enough for me. I was tired afterwards. I drove to the Nature Center and may have seen a snowy owl flying low on the trail that leads to the mountain bike trail. Snowy Owls have been spotted all over northern Indiana and Michigan this winter. Do they think this is the Arctic? I can understand their confusion. The snow depth is at least two feet this year. If it melts too fast we could have flooding. There were a few sledders and snowboarders on the sledding hill, and it looked like people had been on Trail 1 with cross country skis near the Nature Center (which was closed). I may try cross country skiing next year.
I only had one "down day" this week. Tuesday I had to go home early from work and sleep the rest of the day. I have not taken what I consider "toxic medicine" (Tylenol, etc.) for at least a year now. If I'm sick all I can do is take colloidal silver and sleep. Epsom (magnesium) baths once a week are helpful, along with B complex vitamins, occasional half Iodoral tabs, daily Sea Aloe in my breakfast juice, and the best remedy, exercise. This severe winter weather has impacted my fitness activities quite a bit. Rowing Class has been suspended due to the frigid mornings, and I haven't been running with the group since the class moved to Tuesdays this month. Nobody seems interested in winter hiking in this weather, so yesterday I walked to the horse barn and visited each horse individually in their stalls and picked out a few favorites. I think Jonkers and Thomas are my favorite Friesians. Buster and Frosty are two thoroughbred types I would consider riding. I did not see my old pal Jackson. I wonder if he is out to pasture or gone altogether. I wonder if I will ever actually ride a nice Thoroughbred or Friesian at Culver. I need to be ready for the opportunity if it comes. I need to work with my own horses, get Martha trained, get someone to help me (Culver instructor that is small?), ride Misty regularly, get the barn and tack in some semblance of good order for visitors, and get myself fit. I need more stamina. I only have so much energy, and when it is gone I am done for the day.
The sun is shining this Sabbath morning. I saw the beautiful full silvery moon in the western sky before sunrise. Time for breakfast and turning out the horses in the woods. Later I'll walk the dog in the woods on my snowshoes and hopefully this afternoon Pat and I will go for a Sabbath day's journey to the Nature Center at Potato Creek State Park and check out the birds at the feeders and in the park. I bought the annual pass last Sunday. Maybe Pat and I could enjoy bird watching as a hobby together. Maybe he could do some nature photography while I hike the trails. It would be nice if we could find a common interest. Maybe we'll go late in the afternoon and see the sunset! Nice way to close out the Sabbath.
Update - Sunday morning 2/16.....
Well, Sabbath afternoon did not go as planned. "Sudden Sick Syndrome" came upon me and I slept most of the day. It is very frustrating not to know why this happens or when it will happen. I feel fine one minute and "sick" the next. I cannot figure out what triggers it. It seems as if my body has to detox from time to time. I'm going to try abstaining from all foods that might possibly be toxic to me for one week and see what happens. There was nothing I ate yesterday that should have affected me. I'll keep a food diary.
Overnight I listened to Rabbi Eliyahu Kin's youtube teachings on Evolution and Creation. It was good to hear a Jewish perspective similar to mine.
I stayed off of facebook yesterday and did not miss it at all. Even after Sabbath ended I chose not to go there. I finally checked it out after midnight when I woke up. Denise posted about hiking in San Antonio. Good for her!
9 am
Today's torah portion (Ki Tissa) includes these verses in Exodus 31:12-18
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily My sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between Me and you throughout your generations: that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you. Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Wherefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant. It is a sign between Me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day He rested, and was refreshed. And He gave unto Moses, when He had made an end of communing with him on Mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.
I'm feeling very much alone in my convictions these days. I don't have anyone in my circle of friends/family who regularly communicate with me who believes in Six Day Creationism and proves it by keeping the Sabbath day holy. It is troubling to learn that my grandchildren have been swayed to the Evolution camp. It is troubling that my friend who now calls himself a brother still does not believe in Six Day, Young Earth Creationism, but believes in a novel interpretation of Genesis 1 expounded by John Walton and others. He also has not found it possible in his life situation to keep Shabbat. It is troubling that ffoz gives him cover for trampling the Sabbath with its "Optional for Gentiles" Sabbath stance. Sometimes I feel like forsaking facebook altogether; it is such a grief. It has become easy to eschew it on Shabbat. I don't miss it at all; a welcome respite.
I have been listening to Yair Davidiy via youtube lately concerning the Lost Tribes. I heard of him years ago through Chris Josephson (Bible Light) and wanted to read The Tribes, but it was out of print at the time. My interest in this topic is renewed, so I may read this book and study the topic more in depth. I also heard this week about a legendary river called Sambatiyon that is rather fascinating. Both Yair Davidiy and a Rabbi named Eliyahu Kin talked about it from different perspectives on their youtube channels. I have been convinced for many years that I am an Israelite, and consider myself Jewish in my affiliation. It is a lonely journey for this "ugly duckling", and I have yet to land in a welcoming Hebraic "swan pond."
I have become interested in bird watching lately. We filled our feeders and attracted chickadees, sparrows, red headed woodpeckers, blue jays, cardinals, tufted titmouse (titmice?) so far. The goldfinches have not yet returned to the niger seed feeder at my kitchen window.
Last Sunday I drove to Potato Creek State Park and traversed Trail 4 on my snowshoes. It was very quiet and serene in the woods. I was not cold unless I stopped moving. I wore snow pants so I did not get snow in my boots. The trail had been blazed by others so it was not too taxing. It was a good workout though. It took me an hour and a half to make the two and a half mile circuit. I saw two other snowshoers and encountered one young male hiker in boots who said hello. People on trails are very helpful and friendly in my experience so far. One older snowshoer guy struck up a conversation with me as he rested on a park bench on the trail and gave me some snowshoeing tips. He planned to be out on the trails until sunset, including Vargo Hill. My Trail 4 trek was enough for me. I was tired afterwards. I drove to the Nature Center and may have seen a snowy owl flying low on the trail that leads to the mountain bike trail. Snowy Owls have been spotted all over northern Indiana and Michigan this winter. Do they think this is the Arctic? I can understand their confusion. The snow depth is at least two feet this year. If it melts too fast we could have flooding. There were a few sledders and snowboarders on the sledding hill, and it looked like people had been on Trail 1 with cross country skis near the Nature Center (which was closed). I may try cross country skiing next year.
I only had one "down day" this week. Tuesday I had to go home early from work and sleep the rest of the day. I have not taken what I consider "toxic medicine" (Tylenol, etc.) for at least a year now. If I'm sick all I can do is take colloidal silver and sleep. Epsom (magnesium) baths once a week are helpful, along with B complex vitamins, occasional half Iodoral tabs, daily Sea Aloe in my breakfast juice, and the best remedy, exercise. This severe winter weather has impacted my fitness activities quite a bit. Rowing Class has been suspended due to the frigid mornings, and I haven't been running with the group since the class moved to Tuesdays this month. Nobody seems interested in winter hiking in this weather, so yesterday I walked to the horse barn and visited each horse individually in their stalls and picked out a few favorites. I think Jonkers and Thomas are my favorite Friesians. Buster and Frosty are two thoroughbred types I would consider riding. I did not see my old pal Jackson. I wonder if he is out to pasture or gone altogether. I wonder if I will ever actually ride a nice Thoroughbred or Friesian at Culver. I need to be ready for the opportunity if it comes. I need to work with my own horses, get Martha trained, get someone to help me (Culver instructor that is small?), ride Misty regularly, get the barn and tack in some semblance of good order for visitors, and get myself fit. I need more stamina. I only have so much energy, and when it is gone I am done for the day.
The sun is shining this Sabbath morning. I saw the beautiful full silvery moon in the western sky before sunrise. Time for breakfast and turning out the horses in the woods. Later I'll walk the dog in the woods on my snowshoes and hopefully this afternoon Pat and I will go for a Sabbath day's journey to the Nature Center at Potato Creek State Park and check out the birds at the feeders and in the park. I bought the annual pass last Sunday. Maybe Pat and I could enjoy bird watching as a hobby together. Maybe he could do some nature photography while I hike the trails. It would be nice if we could find a common interest. Maybe we'll go late in the afternoon and see the sunset! Nice way to close out the Sabbath.
Update - Sunday morning 2/16.....
Well, Sabbath afternoon did not go as planned. "Sudden Sick Syndrome" came upon me and I slept most of the day. It is very frustrating not to know why this happens or when it will happen. I feel fine one minute and "sick" the next. I cannot figure out what triggers it. It seems as if my body has to detox from time to time. I'm going to try abstaining from all foods that might possibly be toxic to me for one week and see what happens. There was nothing I ate yesterday that should have affected me. I'll keep a food diary.
Overnight I listened to Rabbi Eliyahu Kin's youtube teachings on Evolution and Creation. It was good to hear a Jewish perspective similar to mine.
I stayed off of facebook yesterday and did not miss it at all. Even after Sabbath ended I chose not to go there. I finally checked it out after midnight when I woke up. Denise posted about hiking in San Antonio. Good for her!
2/08/2014
Excerpts from The Sabbath (Abraham Joshua Heschel)
Shabbat
8 Adar
2/8/14
Today I abstained from Facebook and attempted to sanctify the Sabbath, to keep it holy. "Be ye holy, for I am holy," saith the LORD, in today's Bible reading (Leviticus 19:2) and also in 1 Peter 1:16. I felt like I should take the "no commerce on Sabbath" prohibition to its logical extension -- no commercial advertising, thus viewing no web page that contains this distraction, including Facebook.
Facebook is an electronic "town square" where dialogue and news of the day takes place, but it is also a venue for commerce, increasingly so to my dismay. It is also a place of profound grief sometimes, a place to become aware that friends and loved ones are trampling the Sabbath underfoot as they shop and go about their worldly pursuits, disregarding the holiness of the day. This is the LORD's Day! -- a day to rejoice and be glad, the day He refers to repeatedly throughout Scripture as "My holy day"!!!
By 9 am, after reading my chapters and the Torah portion (Tetzaveh) in my beloved KJV (where I encounter the LORD in a manner that just does not happen when I read other versions of the Bible) I began to experience the sanctity of Sabbath, especially while reading and underlining portions of the wise words of Abraham Joshua Heschel. I finished reading his wonderful book, The Sabbath, about 11 am and then went for a 20 minute snowshoe walk in the woods to meditate on what I had read. Soft snowflakes descended from "a grey snow sky, the gift of Adonai." Winter is truly a wonder this year. Did I ever blog the lyrics to this song I wrote to Yanni's music years ago?
Snowshoeing, by the way, is a great cardiovascular activity and a great way to experience the winter scenery. There must be two feet of snow in our woods, so this is the best way to traverse the trails. Next year maybe I'll try cross country skiing once I master maneuvering in these. It is quite easy actually. It is just walking, with poles for additional support and balance. I thoroughly enjoy this activity. The energy expended and metabolism boost prevents me from feeling cold. I do need gaiters though to keep the snow out of my boots. I tried snowshoeing at Culver yesterday along the lake shore, breaking trail from the motel to the Library in spectacular sunshine, blue sky, 13 below zero wind chill weather. Other than one ear getting wind blasted, I stayed warm. I should have double-hatted it, or put up my hood. My Buff was transformed from face mask to emergency ear warmer. My left ear turned red and hot as my blood supply came to my rescue and saved me from frostbite. Lessons are being learned before I venture out on a longer trek on Trail 4 at Potato Creek State Park, hopefully tomorrow afternoon.
Today's Sabbath journaling will consist of passages I marked, underlined, and especially liked in this little book by Heschel:
"The duty to work for six days is just as much a part of God's covenant with man as the duty to abstain from work on the seventh day." (p. 28)
"The seventh day is the armistice in man's cruel struggle for existence, a truce in all conflicts, personal and social, peace between man and man; a day on which handling money is considered a desecration, on which man avows his independence of that which is the world's chief idol. The seventh day is the exodus from tension, the liberation of man from his own muddiness, the installation of man as a sovereign in the world of time. In the tempestuous ocean of time and toil there are islands of stillness where man may enter a harbor and reclaim his dignity. The island is the seventh day, the Sabbath....." (p. 29) [my thought: I wonder if the prohibition against kindling a fire on the Sabbath day refers to staying out of arguments and eschewing discord! Maybe it is a word picture, a metaphor for conflict.]
"The Sabbath is no time for personal anxiety or care, for any activity that might dampen the spirit of joy." (p. 30)
"The idea that a seventh part of our lives may be experienced as paradise is a scandal to the pagans and a revelation to the Jews....the Sabbath is the fountainhead (ma'yan) of eternity......Unless one learns how to relish the taste of Sabbath while still in this world, unless one is initiated in the appreciation of eternal life, one will be unable to enjoy the taste of eternity in the world to come....Eternal life does not grow away from us; it is "planted within us" growing beyond us....The essence of the world to come is Sabbath eternal, and the seventh day in time is an example of eternity. (p.74)
"There is much that philosophy could learn from the Bible. To the philosopher the idea of the good is the most exalted idea. But to the Bible the idea of the good is penultimate; it cannot exist without the holy. The good is the base, the holy is the summit. Things created in six days He considered good, the seventh day He made holy.....The law of the Sabbath tries to direct the body and the mind to the dimension of the holy. It tries to teach us that man stands not only in a relation to nature but in a relation also to the creator of nature. What is the Sabbath? Spirit in the form of time. With our bodies we belong to space; our spirit, our souls, soar to eternity, aspire to the holy. The Sabbath is an ascent to the summit. It gives us the opportunity to sactify time, to raise the good to the level of the holy, to behold the holy by abstaining from profanity." (p. 75)
"We usually think that the earth is our mother, that time is money and profit our mate. The seventh day is a reminder that God is our father, that time is life and the spirit our mate." (p. 76)
"All sages agree, we are told in the Talmud, that the first feast of weeks on which the Torah was given fell on the Sabbath. Indeed, it is the only day on which the word of God could have been given to man." (p. 82)
"According to an ancient legend, the light created at the very beginning of creation was not the same as the light emitted by the sun, the moon, and the stars. The light of the first day was of a sort that would have enabled man to see the world at a glance from one end to the other. Since man was unworthy to enjoy the blessing of such light, God concealed it; but in the world to come it will appear to the pious in all its pristine glory. Something of that light rests upon saints and men of righteous deeds on the seventh day, and that light is called the additional soul." (p. 88) [my thought: YESHUA is that Light!]
"All our life should be a pilgrimage to the seventh day; the thought and appreciation of what this day may bring to us should be ever present in our minds. For the Sabbath is the counterpoint of living; the melody sustained throughout all agitations and vicissitudes which menace our conscience; our awareness of God's presence in the world." (p. 89)
"Nothing is as hard to suppress as the will to be a slave to one's own pettiness. Gallantly, ceaselessly, quietly, man must fight for inner liberty. Inner liberty depends upon being exempt from domination of things as well as from domination of people." (p. 89)
"In a moment of eternity, while the taste of redemption was still fresh to the former slaves, the people of Israel were given the Ten Words, the Ten Commandments. In its beginning and end, the Decalogue deals with the liberty of man. The first Word--I am the LORD thy God, who brought thee out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage--reminds him that his outer liberty was given to him by God, and the tenth Word--Thou shalt not covet! reminds him that he himself must achieve his inner liberty." (p. 90)
"In ancient literature, emphasis is expressed through direct repetition (epizeuxis), by repeating a word without any intervening words." (p. 90)
"The Torah, whenever we study it, must be to us "as if it were given us today." The same applies to the day of the exodus from Egypt: "In every age man must see himself as if he himself went out of Egypt." (p. 98)
"An instant of returning to God may restore what has been lost in years of escaping from Him" (p. 98)
8 Adar
2/8/14
Today I abstained from Facebook and attempted to sanctify the Sabbath, to keep it holy. "Be ye holy, for I am holy," saith the LORD, in today's Bible reading (Leviticus 19:2) and also in 1 Peter 1:16. I felt like I should take the "no commerce on Sabbath" prohibition to its logical extension -- no commercial advertising, thus viewing no web page that contains this distraction, including Facebook.
Facebook is an electronic "town square" where dialogue and news of the day takes place, but it is also a venue for commerce, increasingly so to my dismay. It is also a place of profound grief sometimes, a place to become aware that friends and loved ones are trampling the Sabbath underfoot as they shop and go about their worldly pursuits, disregarding the holiness of the day. This is the LORD's Day! -- a day to rejoice and be glad, the day He refers to repeatedly throughout Scripture as "My holy day"!!!
By 9 am, after reading my chapters and the Torah portion (Tetzaveh) in my beloved KJV (where I encounter the LORD in a manner that just does not happen when I read other versions of the Bible) I began to experience the sanctity of Sabbath, especially while reading and underlining portions of the wise words of Abraham Joshua Heschel. I finished reading his wonderful book, The Sabbath, about 11 am and then went for a 20 minute snowshoe walk in the woods to meditate on what I had read. Soft snowflakes descended from "a grey snow sky, the gift of Adonai." Winter is truly a wonder this year. Did I ever blog the lyrics to this song I wrote to Yanni's music years ago?
Snowshoeing, by the way, is a great cardiovascular activity and a great way to experience the winter scenery. There must be two feet of snow in our woods, so this is the best way to traverse the trails. Next year maybe I'll try cross country skiing once I master maneuvering in these. It is quite easy actually. It is just walking, with poles for additional support and balance. I thoroughly enjoy this activity. The energy expended and metabolism boost prevents me from feeling cold. I do need gaiters though to keep the snow out of my boots. I tried snowshoeing at Culver yesterday along the lake shore, breaking trail from the motel to the Library in spectacular sunshine, blue sky, 13 below zero wind chill weather. Other than one ear getting wind blasted, I stayed warm. I should have double-hatted it, or put up my hood. My Buff was transformed from face mask to emergency ear warmer. My left ear turned red and hot as my blood supply came to my rescue and saved me from frostbite. Lessons are being learned before I venture out on a longer trek on Trail 4 at Potato Creek State Park, hopefully tomorrow afternoon.
Today's Sabbath journaling will consist of passages I marked, underlined, and especially liked in this little book by Heschel:
"The duty to work for six days is just as much a part of God's covenant with man as the duty to abstain from work on the seventh day." (p. 28)
"The seventh day is the armistice in man's cruel struggle for existence, a truce in all conflicts, personal and social, peace between man and man; a day on which handling money is considered a desecration, on which man avows his independence of that which is the world's chief idol. The seventh day is the exodus from tension, the liberation of man from his own muddiness, the installation of man as a sovereign in the world of time. In the tempestuous ocean of time and toil there are islands of stillness where man may enter a harbor and reclaim his dignity. The island is the seventh day, the Sabbath....." (p. 29) [my thought: I wonder if the prohibition against kindling a fire on the Sabbath day refers to staying out of arguments and eschewing discord! Maybe it is a word picture, a metaphor for conflict.]
"The Sabbath is no time for personal anxiety or care, for any activity that might dampen the spirit of joy." (p. 30)
"The idea that a seventh part of our lives may be experienced as paradise is a scandal to the pagans and a revelation to the Jews....the Sabbath is the fountainhead (ma'yan) of eternity......Unless one learns how to relish the taste of Sabbath while still in this world, unless one is initiated in the appreciation of eternal life, one will be unable to enjoy the taste of eternity in the world to come....Eternal life does not grow away from us; it is "planted within us" growing beyond us....The essence of the world to come is Sabbath eternal, and the seventh day in time is an example of eternity. (p.74)
"There is much that philosophy could learn from the Bible. To the philosopher the idea of the good is the most exalted idea. But to the Bible the idea of the good is penultimate; it cannot exist without the holy. The good is the base, the holy is the summit. Things created in six days He considered good, the seventh day He made holy.....The law of the Sabbath tries to direct the body and the mind to the dimension of the holy. It tries to teach us that man stands not only in a relation to nature but in a relation also to the creator of nature. What is the Sabbath? Spirit in the form of time. With our bodies we belong to space; our spirit, our souls, soar to eternity, aspire to the holy. The Sabbath is an ascent to the summit. It gives us the opportunity to sactify time, to raise the good to the level of the holy, to behold the holy by abstaining from profanity." (p. 75)
"We usually think that the earth is our mother, that time is money and profit our mate. The seventh day is a reminder that God is our father, that time is life and the spirit our mate." (p. 76)
"All sages agree, we are told in the Talmud, that the first feast of weeks on which the Torah was given fell on the Sabbath. Indeed, it is the only day on which the word of God could have been given to man." (p. 82)
"According to an ancient legend, the light created at the very beginning of creation was not the same as the light emitted by the sun, the moon, and the stars. The light of the first day was of a sort that would have enabled man to see the world at a glance from one end to the other. Since man was unworthy to enjoy the blessing of such light, God concealed it; but in the world to come it will appear to the pious in all its pristine glory. Something of that light rests upon saints and men of righteous deeds on the seventh day, and that light is called the additional soul." (p. 88) [my thought: YESHUA is that Light!]
"All our life should be a pilgrimage to the seventh day; the thought and appreciation of what this day may bring to us should be ever present in our minds. For the Sabbath is the counterpoint of living; the melody sustained throughout all agitations and vicissitudes which menace our conscience; our awareness of God's presence in the world." (p. 89)
"Nothing is as hard to suppress as the will to be a slave to one's own pettiness. Gallantly, ceaselessly, quietly, man must fight for inner liberty. Inner liberty depends upon being exempt from domination of things as well as from domination of people." (p. 89)
"In a moment of eternity, while the taste of redemption was still fresh to the former slaves, the people of Israel were given the Ten Words, the Ten Commandments. In its beginning and end, the Decalogue deals with the liberty of man. The first Word--I am the LORD thy God, who brought thee out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage--reminds him that his outer liberty was given to him by God, and the tenth Word--Thou shalt not covet! reminds him that he himself must achieve his inner liberty." (p. 90)
"In ancient literature, emphasis is expressed through direct repetition (epizeuxis), by repeating a word without any intervening words." (p. 90)
"The Torah, whenever we study it, must be to us "as if it were given us today." The same applies to the day of the exodus from Egypt: "In every age man must see himself as if he himself went out of Egypt." (p. 98)
"An instant of returning to God may restore what has been lost in years of escaping from Him" (p. 98)
2/01/2014
Joy in the Journaling
Adar 1
Shabbat
2/1/14 7 am
Thank you, LORD, for bringing healing yesterday and last night. Strength and health are restored, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It's a new month, a new chapter. I need to write my thoughts on my blog each Shabbat. John wrote on the Isle of Patmos on Shabbat, the LORD's Day (Revelation 1:9). The Bible always refers to Sabbath as the LORD's day (Genesis 2:3; Exodus 16:23; 20, 31, 35, Lev. 23, Deut. 5, Isaiah 58:13, Ezek. 20, Luke 6:5, etc.) The "Church" very early went astray and deviated from Torah, the instructions of God. Nowhere in Scripture is there any indication that the LORD's day changed to Sunday. Anyway, I have no problem with writing on Sabbath, though others may.
Thank you, LORD, for Joel Allen (Messianic Family Fellowship, NY) for podcasts that helped turn the tide for me last night. His views were similar to mine, his sermon was edifying and reassuring (Terumah 2/16/13) and he used lots of Scripture from the KJV. I miss the KJV. I am going back to reading it today. The Complete Jewish Bible (David Stern) can be a reference, but my primary Bible needs to be the KJV. I treasure the lofty, poetic language and the overall accuracy. There is no better English version. I sense Your leading back to "the old paths" (Jeremiah 6:16). I sense I am back on Your path and out of the tangled thicket I've been in for quite some time. December and January have been rough, spiritually, physically, emotionally....not to mention the frigid weather, which has been like a Judgement on America, a plague, tribulation.
In contrast, the snow today looks peaceful, beautiful, inviting. I hope to play in it today...on my snowshoes, which I enjoy. I hope to get to Potato Creek State Park sometime this month for a snowy trail trek. So far, I've only tried it twice in my backyard/woods.
I have not been running, rowing, or even walking much this winter due to the severity of the weather and my "often infirmities." I hope that is all about to change.
I pray my paddleboards survive the weather being still outside against the Linden dorm wall. Winter came on strong without warning, and I did not get to take them home. I had hoped to paddleboard in November with Denise, but instead of turning warm, it turned very cold. It has been a long, bleak, difficult winter. Is there a message in it? Thank you for keeping us safe through it all.
Daily Bible Reading - Leviticus 1-3 (kidneys, liver)
I pray LORD, heal my kidneys, liver, whatever internal needs complete healing. Refuah Shleimah!
Torah Portion - Terumah (Exodus 25:1-27:19)
Update 4 pm: I did go snowshoeing in the woods this morning with Allie. It was a winter wonderland with snow falling softly all around us. The snow was up to Allie's belly. She got tired and followed my snowshoe tracks after a while. We only went one time around the trail, about a quarter mile, but I had to stop several times due to exhaustion. I wonder if I am getting over a respiratory virus. I feel fine today other than my limited endurance. I did not go to work yesterday because I felt so horrible. At one point my temperature was 95.4. It's back up to about 97 today. I can't even get to 98.6 at my age! The 97 range has been "normal" for me for a few years at least. I can't seem to burn off any chronic viruses that might be indwelling me and wreaking havoc from time to time. Fatigue is still an issue. But I don't trust modern medicine, so I must rely on the LORD for guidance and healing...and I do.
I have been thinking about all the "burst bubbles" and understand now that reality does not burst like a bubble, only fantasies. What is real remains. What is fake, deceiving, pretentious can and does go "poof." Rather than lament the loss and wallow in disillusionment, I should rejoice in the truth. The truth sets us free. The tares are not worth the tears.
Shabbat
2/1/14 7 am
Thank you, LORD, for bringing healing yesterday and last night. Strength and health are restored, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It's a new month, a new chapter. I need to write my thoughts on my blog each Shabbat. John wrote on the Isle of Patmos on Shabbat, the LORD's Day (Revelation 1:9). The Bible always refers to Sabbath as the LORD's day (Genesis 2:3; Exodus 16:23; 20, 31, 35, Lev. 23, Deut. 5, Isaiah 58:13, Ezek. 20, Luke 6:5, etc.) The "Church" very early went astray and deviated from Torah, the instructions of God. Nowhere in Scripture is there any indication that the LORD's day changed to Sunday. Anyway, I have no problem with writing on Sabbath, though others may.
Thank you, LORD, for Joel Allen (Messianic Family Fellowship, NY) for podcasts that helped turn the tide for me last night. His views were similar to mine, his sermon was edifying and reassuring (Terumah 2/16/13) and he used lots of Scripture from the KJV. I miss the KJV. I am going back to reading it today. The Complete Jewish Bible (David Stern) can be a reference, but my primary Bible needs to be the KJV. I treasure the lofty, poetic language and the overall accuracy. There is no better English version. I sense Your leading back to "the old paths" (Jeremiah 6:16). I sense I am back on Your path and out of the tangled thicket I've been in for quite some time. December and January have been rough, spiritually, physically, emotionally....not to mention the frigid weather, which has been like a Judgement on America, a plague, tribulation.
In contrast, the snow today looks peaceful, beautiful, inviting. I hope to play in it today...on my snowshoes, which I enjoy. I hope to get to Potato Creek State Park sometime this month for a snowy trail trek. So far, I've only tried it twice in my backyard/woods.
I have not been running, rowing, or even walking much this winter due to the severity of the weather and my "often infirmities." I hope that is all about to change.
I pray my paddleboards survive the weather being still outside against the Linden dorm wall. Winter came on strong without warning, and I did not get to take them home. I had hoped to paddleboard in November with Denise, but instead of turning warm, it turned very cold. It has been a long, bleak, difficult winter. Is there a message in it? Thank you for keeping us safe through it all.
Daily Bible Reading - Leviticus 1-3 (kidneys, liver)
I pray LORD, heal my kidneys, liver, whatever internal needs complete healing. Refuah Shleimah!
Torah Portion - Terumah (Exodus 25:1-27:19)
Update 4 pm: I did go snowshoeing in the woods this morning with Allie. It was a winter wonderland with snow falling softly all around us. The snow was up to Allie's belly. She got tired and followed my snowshoe tracks after a while. We only went one time around the trail, about a quarter mile, but I had to stop several times due to exhaustion. I wonder if I am getting over a respiratory virus. I feel fine today other than my limited endurance. I did not go to work yesterday because I felt so horrible. At one point my temperature was 95.4. It's back up to about 97 today. I can't even get to 98.6 at my age! The 97 range has been "normal" for me for a few years at least. I can't seem to burn off any chronic viruses that might be indwelling me and wreaking havoc from time to time. Fatigue is still an issue. But I don't trust modern medicine, so I must rely on the LORD for guidance and healing...and I do.
I have been thinking about all the "burst bubbles" and understand now that reality does not burst like a bubble, only fantasies. What is real remains. What is fake, deceiving, pretentious can and does go "poof." Rather than lament the loss and wallow in disillusionment, I should rejoice in the truth. The truth sets us free. The tares are not worth the tears.
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