Lamenting the Loss: A Chronicle of Catastrophe

5/21/08 8 am.

Nate is at the control panel. I feel like I am on my death bed. The plug is about to be pulled on my beloved TR Forum. I will miss my friends and my internet life here. This is where I met Peter and Dan and Michael and Darnell and Lori and Lily and so many more. This has been one of the highlights of the past 18 months of my life. It brought me out of my depression and made me feel young and alive again.....to converse with Messianics, scholars, and intellectuals from all over the world. As the song goes, This used to be my playground. This used to be my field of dreams. Dreams of sweet, like-minded fellowship...the swan pond. Yet the dream turned into a nightmare in myriad ways. Many have scattered to apostasy, differing world views, vain philosophies, and various theologies....some seem headed downstream in a river rushing to Rome. It is hard to believe that the Messianic passion chronology view is shifting back to “Good Friday”....disregarding the sign Yeshua gave us of “three days and three nights.” It boggles my mind. How can they be so blind? Why won’t they consider Dan Gregg’s Sabbath Resurrection chronology? What are they so afraid of that they refuse to engage him in scholarly debate?

“Tzuri, Tandi, Dan, and Tim, foursquare, is my prayer”.....and has been for many months as I walk in my prayer closet [sukkah] at the back of the woods “looking toward Yerushalayim in Yeshua’s Name, Amein.” These four names are the foundation of the sending forth of the "Faith once delivered" that I envision. It is hard to keep the dream alive. Yet it is even harder to give it up. Two white oxen, a cart, yoke-fellows, “what is in the cart?” the three in the Land, the ticker-tape. What does it all mean??

I logged out at 9:11 am.

9:12 am. The dastardly deed has yet to be done! Nate is still at the control panel. May he not lose all of our posts as he tries to keep some forums active and deactivate the main forum. Or is he planning to delete all of our posts?! Please, LORD, let them still be there. I should still be able to access the Philosophy class forum. There are over 100 members of the class but no conversation, other than David from Finland.

9:25 am. Now Heather and Marc and John are here with Bill. Nate is still here in his hidden state.

9:39 am. I am able to log on still! Nate is gone. Wanda has joined us. There are 6 members and 3 guests now.

John responded to my post re: Evolution vs Creation.

Trivia: I am member #374. Join date: 8/27/06. Total posts: 470 (0.74 posts per day).

11:07 am. Forum still alive. I’ll go for a walk in the woods and pray.

11:34 am. Back from walk. I saw a wild turkey and prayed, “O LORD, help this turkey find its way.” Someone I know will connect the dots. I got real close to the turkey. It wasn’t afraid of me. Finally it ran and flew over the fence, heading home.

11:35 am. The forum is still here. Tim is at the Admin Control Panel now. There are seven of us, and two guests. I wonder if Tim will pull the plug himself soon.

I see that Dan Gregg sent me an email. I will read it now. Good one! Actually there are two...and I enjoyed reading them, as usual. He always seems to nail the truth and get to the heart of the matter...often in an entertaining way with his wry humor and colorful vocabulary.

11:52 am. I wonder if they can’t figure out how to close the main forum. What is the delay?

Time for breakfast.

12:20 pm. Tim is reading the Evolution vs Creation thread and there is a new vote for Old Earth Creationism, bringing the total to 4 out of 35. I wonder if it was Tim who voted. He mentioned on one of his audios that some were wondering if he was "going to the dark side” (for abandoning his former Wed-Sat. passion chronology for the Friday crucifixion position which he now seems to tentatively hold).

12:33 pm. I’m going to sign off for a while and hope I can log on later.

2:42 pm. Logged on! Tim and the moderators are in moderator discussion.

4:44 pm. Still a forum with conversation on the Formerly Gentiles thread.

4:49 pm. Logged off. Not feeling well. I have a bad headache. Probably stress. Read Bible chapters at Erev (time of the evening sacrifice). Came across the words in Ezekiel about scattering the sheep. Not good in God’s eyes.

My Erev song lyrics:

When the sun is even with my eyes
Erev, erev, the darkening of the skies
Call it evening, prepare the sacrifice
Praise Yeshua, for giving us His life.

(Erev is the time of long shadows, a growing mixture of day and night, transition time....the ninth hour....3-4 pm in a 12 hour day)

I logged on this evening and logged off at 8:18 pm. Going to bed now. I will read Ezekiel 34 about the scattered sheep. I wonder if the forum will still be here in the morning.

5/22/08

Today I woke up early and the forum was still operational, so I posted a JPost article about the Apostolic Scriptures being burned in Israel by Yeshiva students. I made mention of the growing intolerance for religious differences. I posted my email address and asked if we could exchange contact info. I especially wanted to get in touch with MarkW, as I think we are somewhat like-minded.

11:40 am. I was talking to Dave on Messenger when it happened. All of a sudden I noticed the forum looked different. The Main forum was gone, leaving only the Class forum and Research Exchange forum. I was still online, and Tim was there.

My reaction:

“It’s gone! Right while we were talking...Tim or Nate pulled the plug! My beloved forum! They are so mean! I feel like Terri Schiavo.....they pulled out my lifeline!”

How cruel! Not a fond farewell or a caring kol tuv....just pull the plug as if to say, “Good riddance. You people are annoying.”

Last screen shot:

What's Going On?
Currently Active Users: 9 (8 members and 1 guests)

Most users ever online was 60, 02-01-2007 at 08:56 AM.

mlafaive, bbeyer, Dan Benzvi, Heather, JKMcKee, Rebekah Lee-Giam G.L., wshepherd

Torah Resource Forums Statistics

Threads: 1,525, Posts: 20,293, Members: 656, Active Members: 164

Welcome to our newest member, Todd T


12:17 pm. Logged off. I wonder if I can log back on later. I am doing okay so far because I am talking to Dave on Messenger. We are having a nice chat. Also, I posted at Dan’s forum about his excellent article. Dave is reading that now. And we are chatting about Peter and his future. I am not depressed....yet.

2:14 pm. I am back on.....and 5 of us and 2 guests are all in the line of names hanging out together. Marc is here, and he is not enrolled in a class so they must not have purged the membership list. But only class members can post at the Philosophy forum. Yet no one has posted. Just Bill, Darnell, and Pati right now. I still do not have PM access or Member List access or access to the archives. So here we sit. Wish we could organize a silent protest...100 or more names just sitting here, shut out from the conversation. LORD, bring this idea to the minds of others to just park here.

Messenger conversation with Dave:

i am laughing
Moss says: (2:20:23 PM)
there are 9 of us here at TR forum...our names in a line as we sit with no ability to post
Moss says: (2:20:52 PM)
this could become a silent protest if everyone would get the idea to just come and park their name here in a row
Moss says: (2:21:15 PM)
what would we call it? A sign-in, a park-in?
Moss says: (2:21:32 PM)
in hippie days we had sit-ins, be-ins, etc.
Moss says: (2:22:32 PM)
there are 165 active members...what if we all just parked our names here!!!!
Moss says: (2:23:11 PM)
i must not be the only one that needs to get a life
Moss says: (2:23:19 PM)
what are the rest of them doing here?
Moss says: (2:24:05 PM)
well, i'm going to leave my name here while i take a walk. i have a life beyond the TR forum!

2:27 Paula and Sharon are here...7 members, 2 guests.

I will list those I see coming to the empty forum page like honeybees shut out from their hive.

Aaron
Heather
Dan B
Marc
Lori
Darnell
Louise

Daniel K
Jeri
Heather
Lori
Ellen
Mark W
Ryan
Tanya
Redbeard
Darnell
Aaron
Pati
Rebekah


I archived the page, the last page before it ended. I pull it up and look at it sometimes. This is a snapshot of my former life.

Darnell and Lori are hanging out there now. There is nothing to do. Why do we keep coming back? What is the attraction?

Bill sent me MarkW’s email address. I am thankful.

"Woe be unto the shepherds that scatter the sheep..." (Ezekiel 34).

2:15 pm I really should get a life.

I think I’ll plant some marigolds...